London - (Royal Ass Mess): Royal coroner Lord Justice Scott Baker is to make fetid former Princess Diana butler Paul Burrell undergo a paternity test following requests from police officers in charge of the UK's official DNA data base.
"We always suspected she'd slipped a cuckoo or two into the Puppet Monarchy's nesting arrangements," a Met top brass source said today.
The test was initially ordered three years ago after top Di-shag ex-cavalry officer James Hewitt failed a DNA match for Harry despite having the best credentials.
Harry has long scrounged off the royal benefits scam by impersonating the ID of the Pretender's heir apparent Mk #2.
A spell in the forces was deemed the best way to hush things up after William's own paternity proved to be a 100% match for David Cameron MP, son of feckless ex-UK Prime Monster Tony Blair.
The inquest resumes on Monday.
