It has been discovered in Ray Mears' fake diary entries that he has actually met Osama Bin Laden.
The wannabe freedom fighter is alive and well but not in a cave in Afghanistan/Pakistan border as previously thought. The World's Best Loved 'hate figure' and Mr Kabul 2004 pin up has turned up in a most unlikely place.
According to his diary, Ray Mears was in the arctic making a Polar Survival programme for the BBC when he was overtaken by events so strange, that you couldn't make them up. Mears (22) was the only survivor airplane crash on a melting glacier near the North Pole last week. A US Coastguard helicopter had located the crash site and was just about to rescue Mears when the pilot had to return to base as his dinner was getting cold.
"Ozzie" as he likes to be called, was found in the captain's quarters of an old rusty Russian Submarine, USSRS 'Yeltzin', a friend bought off an ebayer in Minsk. Bin Laden (also 22)entertained the intrepid, rotund survival expert and shared a meal of "Goatee Sautee" (from an ancient Persian recipe).
Ray Mears fake diary has been handed over to the CIA for further inspection, (as it makes good bedtime reading) but it is also available exclusively on TheSpoof.com.
