Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana 3D image causes seizures in Japan
Tokyo, Japan - Japanese government officials took immediate action to ban the Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana 3D Movie: "Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour," after it was reported that a number of Japanese adolescents suddenly came down with seizu...
Read full storyFebruary 20th Eclipse Signals End Times
Corpus Christi, Texas (IPP) - The upcoming eclipse of February 20th clearly signals the end of times according to both religious and scientific sources.
Read full storyWhitey Obama Seeking 'Fully-Black' Running Mate!
Barack Obama is picking up momentum in what could be a dead-or near-dead heat in the final delegate count at the Democratic Party's Convention in late August in Denver, Colorado.
Read full storyPet Octopus Rage Takes Australia by Storm
Darwin, Australia (IPP) - Octopus ownership has soared in Australia and it is now believed that pet Octopuses (an accepted variant of the word Octopi) now out number pet kangaroos. The fad is so popular that by law the word Octopus must now be capit...
Read full storyBush Balances Budget by Exiting Iraq
Bush Dude Ranch, TX - The road to balancing the budget runs out of Iraq, according to the Bush 2009 budget plan. In it, he plans to spend only $70 Billion in 2009 (down from all prior years) and nothing at all after 2009.
Read full storyKate Middleton's St Valentine's Day royal ultimatum
London - (Preposterous Mess): Kate Middleton has given Prince William a St Valentine's Day ultimatum: take the Harley Street gay cure, buy the ring, make the announcement "or the homoerotic video footage gets posted on the Royal AC/DC Chann...
Read full storyWriters restless for more bad TV, movies
TV and movie writers are thrilled about their new contract and eager to get back to penning sophomoric TV shows that Americans crave. Union chief Hop Russell said, "They're sick and tired of writing their kids' term papers."...
Read full storyVictoria Beckham reveals she is actually a bloke
Victoria Beckham, the celebrity wife of footballer David Beckham, admitted on Panorama last night that she was actually born a bloke and changed gender two years before her first Spice Girls album. Her revelations have sent shock waves around the wor...
Read full storyHigh School Virgin Sues Health Teacher for Not Teaching Her Sex
A virgin high school freshman has filed a lawsuit against her health teacher for "refusing to show her how to have sex." Laura Morris, was unsure how to have sex, so she went to seek help from her health teacher, Derrick Caldwell.
Read full storyLassie Resurection
Lassie, beloved star of the world of canine films is to team up with Derek Acorah for a new series called 'Claire Voyance - Dog Detective'.
Read full storyPrince Bandar's Michael Jackson-feeding UK/US bank accounts frozen
London - (Litigious Mess): Bailiffs acting for a Bahriani princeling's recovery of Michael Jackson-owed debts have swooped on secret bank accounts held by the singer, funded by slush funds generated by former Saudi ambassador to the US Prince Ban...
Read full storyAuction house 'regularly puts the frighteners on con-artists like US envoy': reports
London - (Trick or Treat Mess): Leading UK auction house Sotheby's has said it often tests the waters on suspect clients like the US envoy to London Robert 'Katie' Holmes Tuttle by locking them up overnight at their Mayfair premises.
Read full storyMI6: Charles has been on KGB payroll since 1981
Spook HQ, London - (Treasonous Mess): The Pretender to the Puppet Throne has been on the KGB payroll ever since his 1981 wedding to Lady Diana Spencer according to UK spooks' CEO Sir John 'Captain' Scarlett.
Read full storyHeadless Corpse Named As Abu Hamza
Detectives investigating the death of a man whose decapitated body was found behind a row of shops in north London have identified the body as that of Abu Hamza who was jailed for seven years in 2007 for inciting racial hatred in Lon...
Read full storyPete Doherty to stage Camden blaze pub benefit gig
Camden Town - (Infernal Mess): Babyshambles singer is rallying pals to stage a benefit gig for Camden's Whorely Arms which burnt down in a mysterious blaze this weekend.
Read full storyProfessor Finootch Will Destroy Moon During February 20th Lunar Eclipse
Mount Palomar, California (IPP) - Professor Dr. Povenmire Finootch is warning third world countries that he will destroy the moon on the night of February, 20th unless these countries deposit money into his paypal account.
Read full storyDems Acquire Republicans in Hostile Takeover
The Democratic Party today announced it had purchased the remnants of the Republican Party for $57 million.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus not allowed to tour in Europe due to row over her name
Miley Cyrus has had to cancel plans for a short tour of European cities after a row between her management and the European Commission over her name.
Read full storyKeira Knightley Rejects Bafta and Oscar at Awards Ceremony
Keira Knightley has today vowed that she will not accept either Baftas or Oscars for her role in romantic British drama Atonement.
Read full storyArchbishop Speaks - Fire and Brimstone Rains Down on Camden Overnight
Following the ill-received speech by the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Roman Williams, on Sharia law being adopted across the U.K, fire and brimstone has rained down over parts of London overnight.
Read full storySo Be It
Turkey has agreed to lift a ban on the Islamic headscarf in universities as an issue of human rights and freedoms-misleading expressions that in the past 30 years have divinely unleashed massive Islamism while suppressing the immemorial nationalism.
Read full storyMillion Dollar Study Finds Fatties Don't Restrain Themselves
Professor Tubbalard of O. B. S U has been study the habits of very fat people and seat belt use.
Read full storyCheney Opposed to Gun Control in the District of Columbia
WASHINGTON, DC - Vice President Cheney signed on to a brief filed by a majority of Congress yesterday that urged the Supreme Court to uphold a ruling that the District of Columbia's handgun ban is unconstitutional, breaking with his own administr...
Read full storyPacific Turtle Tracked 13,000 Miles
Scientists from the US National Marine Fisheries Service report that a leatherback turtle which they equipped with a tracking device migrated from Indonesia to Oregon to Hawaii, total of 13,000 miles. The amazing migration took about 2 years.
Read full storyNebraska Declares Electrocution Cruel and Unusual Catholic Bishops say Amen
Sending thousands of volts of electricity through the body of a restrained human being has been declared unconstitutional by the Nebraska State Supreme Court. Nebraska State Solicitor, J. Kill 'Em Kirk Brown argued that the law did not require th...
Read full storyNorth Dakota Man couldn't care less about Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears or Ron Paul
Paul Orchard, a 37 year old Bismarck, ND truck driver, told a newspaper today that he couldn't care less about Britney Spears recent mental breakdown, her sister Jamie Lynn's pregnancy or Ron Paul's candidacy.
Read full storyObahmah Purchases Hyannis Port Mansion
Strange things have been happening in the Obama campaign. The couple's purchase of an Hyannis Port seaside mansion is just the beginning. Media have observed front lawn football games with people described as Barack's big family, most of whom...
Read full storyImus in Trouble Again
Shock-jock Don Imus once again is under fire for an on-air comment. During an afternoon broadcast on Wednesday, Imus referred to the nationally ranked girls soccer team at St. Elizabeth's, a private high school in the midwest, as a bunch of "...
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