Imus in Trouble Again

Funny story written by bartlebysnopes

Sunday, 10 February 2008

image for Imus in Trouble Again
Soccer playing straight-haired preppies

Shock-jock Don Imus once again is under fire for an on-air comment. During an afternoon broadcast on Wednesday, Imus referred to the nationally ranked girls soccer team at St. Elizabeth's, a private high school in the midwest, as a bunch of "straight-haired preppies."

Last year, Imus lost his job after referring to the women's basketball team at Rutgers as a bunch of "nappy-headed hoes." That comment, which many proclaimed as a racial attack, led to his firing.

Protestors gathered outside of the radio station where Imus's broadcasts are recorded demanding that strict action be taken.

One of the girls from the team anonymously told reporters that it was culturally biased for him to say that about her team just because they go to a private school.

"It's not fair," she claimed through tears. "Those words like hurt. They made me feel so, like, stereotyped. For him to just assume that all girls at private schools have straight hair is just another example of, like, cultural bias. I'd like to sit down with that guy and tell him that I have to straighten my hair. It's naturally curly. For him to say those things makes me so angry."

While most of the girls on the team do have straight hair, five of the players on the team agreed that they have to use a straightener to get their hair the way they like it.

"I didn't think the whole Rutgers thing was a big deal when I first heard about it," Danielle Francis, the team's captain, said, "but now I know exactly how they feel. Words really can hurt, and this really distracts us from what we're trying to do."

Imus was not available for comment, but protestors got their wishes early on Thursday when it was announced that Imus would be temporarily suspended while an investigation was conducted to see if his words were in fact racially motivated.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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