Bush Balances Budget by Exiting Iraq

Funny story written by rewinn

Sunday, 10 February 2008

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Republican exit strategy illustrated

Bush Dude Ranch, TX - The road to balancing the budget runs out of Iraq, according to the Bush 2009 budget plan. In it, he plans to spend only $70 Billion in 2009 (down from all prior years) and nothing at all after 2009.

"Either operations will be conducted on a voluntary basis, using weapons and equipment donated by NRA members," said White House spokesblonde Dana Perino, "Or we won't have any troops over there at all. Either way, it will be the Democrat's fault."

"If the Democrats stick to the Bush budget plan, they'll have to pull out the troops in their first year," explained Chief Republican spyouter Karl Rove. "We will then claim the Democrats lost Iraq. If they leave troops there, they can't balance the budget. Either way, we have winning issues in the next election."

Not all Republicans agree with the strategy. "We must stay in Iraq for 100 years," thundered Chief Republican Sacrificial Lamb John McCain, "Only then can we avoid the humiliation of letting Iraqis decide their own fate."

"The Chinese and Saudis are willing to lend us more money," agreed Chief Republican Used Car Salesman Mitt Romney. "All we have to do is sell them a few more American businesses. So why not take our cut and pour the rest into the sands of Iraq?"

(No one currently serving in Iraq is quoted on this story, due to restrictions on printing criticism of the President.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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