Santiago, Chile - (Rabis Ass Mess): The UN's cultural and developmental division is said to be gobsmacked following news from Chile and Ecuador about massive government investment into citizens' sombre sex lives.
This morning Ecuador announced it will incorporate womens' rights to multiple orgasm into the country's constitution, despite widespread sarcasm from the country's notoriously sex-lazy males.
By noon local time Ecuadorians were stunned to learn that Chile will celebrate their new constitution by giving all their own males free viagra, double airmiles points and six months' paid leave of absence from work to make hay while the sun shines.
"The only problem is Peru," a spokesman for Ecuador's President Rafael Correa said today.
"They feel they are the stuffing in the middle of a very shaggy sandwich," National Assembly member Maria Soledad Vela told reporters.
"Some of their ministers want their very own Peruvian women to check for bona fide red-blooded heterosexuality before letting them over the border up north," Vela explained.
"Meanwhile a number of Peruvian men say they have a long hystery of first refusal when it comes to pleasuring Ecuadorian women and will kill all Chilean sexual bounty hunters on sight."
A massive outdoor Ecuadorian/Chilean shagfest is planned for August 15 this year, feast-day of the immaculate conception.
