P & O Ferries are to sue Chris De Burgh having determined that a recent downturn in their business has been as a direct result of the resurgence in airplay of his 1982 hit "Don't pay the ferryman".
Head of their business unit, Captain Ann Tenille said:
"We felt that the wording of his song 'Don't pay the ferryman' has seen an increasing number of passengers who not only 'Don't pay the ferryman', but also 'don't even fix a price' and many insist on 'waiting until he gets you to the other side'.
"We simply cannot afford to transport passengers under these terms and conditions, especially as we are fast approaching that 'peak season' time of year when all transport operators are expected to charge higher fares for a consistently inferior service to one passengers could use have used off-peak.
"We are especially annoyed that members of the public only know one other song by Mr Burgh anyway, that whining and irritating "Lady in Red".
"When I phoned Mr Burgh, the first thing he said to me was 'I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight, I've never seen you shine so bright I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance', which I found quite patronising, as he couldn't see me, and certainly could not ascertain my level of luminosity from one simple phone call.
"Next thing people will be suggesting that I 'take my daughter to the slaughter'."
