Bertie Ahern gives Statement over Financial Issues
Taoseach, Bertie Ahern earlier today gave an exclusive statement about his finances in the early 90's. His statement read: "Lads, the money as just restin' in me account. That's all I have to say."...
Read full storyTony Blair, Heather Mills McCartney's leg and Knut to join Spinal Tap for Live Earth Gig!
While rock fans have been dreaming of a Spinal Tap reunion for years, an important enough reason for the band to get back together has remained elusive.
Read full storyUK rag trade boss Philip Green flogging Russian Neo-Nazi T-shirts
Oxford Street, Lonson - (Ass Mess): Fancy something snazzy for the weekend boys? Then how about the latest Russian eurotrash import T-shirt from Philip Green's Burton shops that are being flogged off as twelve quid a pop?...
Read full storyJohn McCain Withdraws; Endorses Ron Paul
John McCain today announced his withdrawal from the 2008 Presidential race, citing low poll numbers, lackluster fundraising and other campaign difficulties. "We just weren't able to pull it all together," McCain admitted, "and it&#...
Read full storyPaula Abdul, Descendant of Paul Revere, Leads Charge Against Brits
The Spoof has discovered what has kept Paula Abdul distracted for months. Turns out she's a descendant of Paul Revere and has been doing late-night "The British are coming" rides on horseback through the streets of Greenwich Village in...
Read full storyBritney Spears Stops Traffic In West Hollywood Media Frenzy
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA (HOLLYWOOD SPY) - Britney Spears started a media frenzy at tinseltown's famous Equinox Gym on the Sunset Strip, she was accompanied by her vagina, for a quick workout a...
Read full storyThunderbirds are stop!
International Rescue bosses have today announced that they are in consultation with unions over job losses, after the company's product development manager, Brains, left to join rival organisation, Stingray.
Read full storyBush: Pelosi opportunity was missed
The US Air Force was minutes away from 'vapourising' Democrat Speaker of the House and outspoken Bush critic, Nancy Pelosi, during her recent controversial tour of the middle east.
Read full storyPaul McCartney Announces Engagement to Headless Cadaver
Fresh off high profile divorce proceedings with amputee gold digger/dance contestant Heather Mills, Ex Beatle Sir Paul McCartney has proved once again that love is all you need.
Read full storyHoly Trinity Appears On A Pint Of Guinness
Sensational news from Ireland, as reports surface all over the Internet, that God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost have appeared on the head a pint of Guinness in a Boutique Hotel in Dublin's trendy Temple Bar.
Read full storySheryl Crow and Russell Crowe adopt baby, limit tot to one diaper per day
Hollywood - (Ass Mes): Grammy-winning 'Run Baby Run' singer Sheryl Crow and Oscar-winning 'Gladiator' movie actor Russell Crowe have just announced they have adopted a new-hatched little baby together.
Read full storyHo-nolulu mystery as Ho daughter Dayna found dead
Ho-nolulu - (Ass Mess): Last week she buried her late father, the 'Tiny Bubbles' crooner Don Ho, who died of heart failure on 14 April aged 76.
Read full story2,700-year-old fart found in Greece!
ATHENS, Greece - Archaeologists in Greece have discovered a rare 2,700-year-old fart inside a copper urn from a site where soldiers described in Homer's "Iliad." farted into the ancient Greek equivalent...
Read full storyBruce Willis Battles Michael Bay Hollywood Style
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA (LUCHA LIBRE) - High-powered actor, Bruce Willis, star of such film blockbusters as the Die Hard Series, Armageddon, Sin City and The Fifth Element, rocked the Hollywood establishment by launching an attack on M...
Read full storyWilliam and Harry open Windsor Castle laptop dancing strip club
Windsor - (Ass Mess): Clearly unfazed by recent romantic disappointments Prince William has financed an innovative internet-integrated strip club in a former pub called the Windsor Castle just yards away from his army barracks and asked brother Harry...
Read full storyWoodstock Nation Becomes Incontinent Nation
The year was 1969 and 450,000 people went to a pasture in Sullivan county and had a hell of a party.
Read full storyMitt Romney and Gordon Brown: KGB brothers' past gagged by Aldrich Ames fiasco
Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): The CIA's bungling of KGB double agent Aldrich Ames's ten year destruction rampage through US Justice Department files may have ensured that, like George W Bush and his uterine brother Tony Blair, yet another tr...
Read full storyTom Cruise Mom 'in cryogenic stasis inside son's garage freezer'
Beverly Hills - (Ass Mess): One year on after leaving her Florida home to visit newborn grand daughter Suri Holmes Cruise, Mary Lee Mapother has failed tocontact friends and family after ostensibly deciding to remain at her son Tom Cruise's Bever...
Read full storyBush Orders Surge On Democrats
Washington DC - In an Unprecedented move President George W Bush has asked General David Patreus to organize a surge against all elected Democrats in the Congress of the United States of America.
Read full storyBush's Blank Check Bounces
Bagdad Iraq - The blank check that was given to President George Busch by the congress of the United States of America has bounced at the first National bank of Iraq.
Read full storyGreen cross code man killed 'just yards from zebra crossing'
Former road safety superhero the Green Cross Code Man has been killed after being knocked down near to a pedestrian crossing in his local town. The giant man known to millions for his tireless campaign to warn children of the dangers of crossing the...
Read full storySperm Modified to Include Calorie Counter
Scientists have today announced that human sperm can be genetically modified to include nutritional information and a calorie counter. The breakthrough follows years of abstinence by women who claim that sperm is fattening.
Read full storyBreast is Best and Sperm is Good for Your Skin
Following a recent report by a respected male physicist into the cancer beating properties of breast milk, men all over the world are beating a path to local hospitals in a bid to buy gallons of the white stuff.
Read full storyBush Appoints The Spoof Writer "Crazy Cal" Jennings Iraqi War Tzar
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The US Congress has applauded the appointment of "Crazy Cal" Jennings, The Spoof writer extraordinaire, as Iraq War Tzar by President George W. Bush.
Read full storyPope Holds Outdoor Service in Brazil; Prays for Soul of the Nation
Buenos Ares, Brazil - The Pope's first visit to Latin America has been a success, drawing little controversy, if any. But with The Holy See announcing today that he was holding a special outdoor prayer service in a personal intersession on behalf...
Read full storyBody Parts Vendors Get Jail
Six people appeared at the Old Bailey yesterday charged with unlawfully selling, or trying to sell, integral and 'essential' human body parts. Kidneys, lungs, arms and a testicle were all sol...
Read full storyGraham Norton Voted Funniest Man On TV
Graham Norton, the funny multi-talented TV presenter and, some would say "comedian", has been voted the "funniest man on TV" by viewers in an online poll. Norton won "hands down" with ov...
Read full storyLowton Brothers reject $1.4 Billion for Satire Web Site TheSpoof.com
Mark Lowton and his brother Paul turned down a $1.4 Billion dollar buyout offer from Google for their satirical web site the spoof.com.
Read full storyBill Gates Sues Plastic Surgeon
Microsoft Corporation founder and richest person in the world Bill Gates has filed a lawsuit against Seattle, Washington plastic surgeon Doctor Gordon P. Mengele, alleging gross negligence and malicious malpractice.
Read full storyBlow Dryer Maven Monica Lewinsky
Monica Lewinsky, the infamous mistress of former president Bill Clinton, has just announced that she has signed a deal with Conair to lend her name to a new line of hair dryers.
Read full storyDrunken "W" Crashes Company Picnic
It appears that the stress of being the leader of the world's only superpower has finally caught up with President George W. Bush, after many years of sobriety.
Read full storySenate Orders Flags to be Flown at Half Staff Until Inauguration of New President
The United States Senate has passed a resolution calling for all flags to be flown at half staff until the inauguration of a new president in January of 2009. The resolution was confirmed by an amazing margin of one hundred to zero!...
Read full storyUFOs Turn Away - "Earth's Crap"
A fleet of UFOs have been spotted heading away from Earth and towards the constellation of Funster Centauri, citing Earth's 'crapness' as the main reason for the retreat.
Read full storyFour Fellows Fetched from Fierce Flask of Fish Feces
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Mass, U.S. - Holy Fishguts Batman! A Fish franchise fed four frightened fellows to it's fishery Friday. Finally feeling them fighting for freedom, the four fellows were fished out of the fiasco.
Read full storyWhite House Republicans Discovered to Be Undercover Russians
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Recent White House probes uncovered that most White House Republicans now serving in office are really undercover Russian agents. President George W. Bush was discovered to be a Russian monkey left over from...
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