Tom Cruise Mom 'in cryogenic stasis inside son's garage freezer'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 12 May 2007

image for Tom Cruise Mom 'in cryogenic stasis inside son's garage freezer'
An e-fit image of the missing Mom

Beverly Hills - (Ass Mess): One year on after leaving her Florida home to visit newborn grand daughter Suri Holmes Cruise, Mary Lee Mapother has failed tocontact friends and family after ostensibly deciding to remain at her son Tom Cruise's Beverly Hills home.

Now worried chums in Florida fear the worst and have hired private detectives to discover just what lurks inside that jumbo sized deep freeze the Cruises keep in their garage which appears to be powered by remote-controlled independent generators.

Cruise is a devotee of the Scientology sci-fi religion that believes humans were seeded from a super-race of extra-terrestrials who will one day pass on the technology to reanimate humans if the correct cryogenic procedures are enacted before their actual demise.

Some say this entails swallowing a cocktail of arsenic, mandrake and humbug before an immersion into dry ice, followed by immediate storage in a hermetically sealed container at 20 degrees below freezing.

Cruise is Scientology's biggest public liability if private investigators gain a toehold inside the star's heavily guarded mansion.

But Mapother's vanishing trick has yet to be registered as an official missing person report.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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