Paula Abdul, Descendant of Paul Revere, Leads Charge Against Brits

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Saturday, 12 May 2007

image for Paula Abdul, Descendant of Paul Revere, Leads Charge Against Brits
Paula Abdul moonlights at a late-night job in Greenwich Village

The Spoof has discovered what has kept Paula Abdul distracted for months. Turns out she's a descendant of Paul Revere and has been doing late-night "The British are coming" rides on horseback through the streets of Greenwich Village in New York City.

Heavily armed in Medieval style, she's leading the opposition to a movement, headed up by Nicky Perry of the cafe Tea & Sympathy, to officially name an area of New York City's Greenwich Village, "Little Britain." It's the area around Greenwich Avenue, where English shops and English people abound.

In a city that already has a Chinatown and Little Italy, the movement has gotten lots of support and publicity. Musician Jools Holland is delighted at the prospect of a "Little Britain" in New York City and has said, "There'll be somewhere I can feel at home amongst badly dressed, ill-mannered people that are my fellow countrymen."

Many long-term Village residents trying to defend their neighborhood against the invading Brits are grateful for Abdul's interest and the celebrity she brings to their battle. But some feel it's a lost cause. "Too little, too late," a disgusted resident complained. "What is she talking about, the British are COMING. They're already here, all over the place. And not only in New York." He went on to point out that this past week, in a ROYAL way, they took over Washington, D.C., Jamestown, Virginia, and the Goddard Space Flight Station in Maryland, where, through a video link, the crew of the International Space Station even spoke to Queen Elizabeth II. The complaining Greenwich Village resident whined, "The Brits are grabbing up everything in sight. Now they want a piece of the Village too. What is this? Hello, don't they get it, they lost the Revolutionary War. What do they want, a do-over?"

But adamant Brit supporters continue to push for their cause. Posters proclaiming "What's one more queen in Greenwich Village?" can be found in many establishments.

Paula's colleague Simon Cowell rolled his eyes and shrugged when he heard the news of Paula's midnight rides in the Village. "Hey she can have my vote," he said. But he quickly added, "As long as she doesn't do a Lady Godiva."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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