Body Parts Vendors Get Jail

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 12 May 2007


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Body Parts Vendors Get Jail
This old hag makes a wonderful stew, you know...

Six people appeared at the Old Bailey yesterday charged with unlawfully selling, or trying to sell, integral and 'essential' human body parts. Kidneys, lungs, arms and a testicle were all sold, sometimes for as little as £15, and, in some cases, for even less during the January Sales.

Christopher Goulash, of West London, sold one of his kidneys and his liver for £120 to an Indian woman who was making a stew for a wedding party last December.

His accomplice, Arnold Lepper, also of London, offloaded a lung and one of his testicles to an Arab sheik, and his right leg to a Harley Street clinic, in order to raise money to send his son to university. As a result, he was given a 2-year suspended jail term, and an 18-month ban on selling any other parts of his anatomy.

In the worst case of its kind, police arrested Archie Forster for attempting to sell his head on eBay. A detective posed as a buyer, and when the two met to conclude the deal in a Glasgow car park, undercover officers pounced and managed to place Forster in custody with his bonce still attached and intact.

Three others, a man and two women, were sentenced to a total of 16 years, for supplying arms, eyes, kneecaps and breasts to people who didn't already have them. Davis Mellor, of Kensington, a well-known arms dealer, got a slap on the wrist.

Lung, leg and testicle vendor Lepper, a car mechanic, was defiant as he was led away to begin his sentence, and shouted to reporters outside the court:

"My body and its various parts are mine to do with as I see fit. I am currently taking offers on my arse."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more