Fissure price features working class chess set
Fissure price, continuing its effort on the theme of inclusiveness and "making it real" has come out with a new twist on an old game, working class chess pieces. After experiencing tremendous success with its multi-lingual, Dora The Conquis...
Read full storyPope says Dylan fools prophet
Vatican - (Rioters): In a bid to reinvent himself after last year's public remarks about Islamic barbarism, Pope Ratzinger has slammed Bob Dylan as a fools' prophet.
Read full storyBeer catapult vies for Nobel Peace prize
Raleigh - (Rioters): A revolutionary invention which sees an adapted fridge launch a can of beer at thirsty drinkers via remote-control technology has been hailed as a life-saving device fit for nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Read full storyPolice remove Blair's personal papers
Drowning Street - (DissassoCIAted Press): Police investigating the cash for honors fiasco removed several sackfuls of the Prime Monster's personal papers it has been revealed.
Read full storySpears Checks Self Into Rehab - Blames Hilton For Bad Haircut
(AP) Los Angeles, CA - Britney Spears, joining the ranks of gal pals Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, has checked herself into rehab. Spears could not be reached for comment this morning but her mother told reporters, "oops - sh...
Read full storyChrist Strikes Back - Calls Cameron An "F-in Liar"
(AP) Heaven - Jesus Christ has come forth to assure us all that he is in fact, in Heaven "chillin' wit my pops."...
Read full storyDobbs arrested crossing our Broken Border
CNN Immigration Zealot Lou Dobbs, was taken into custody by Mexican Authorities yesterday as he attempted to skip out on a Towing Bill. Dobbs continues to refuse to acknowledge a Bill in the amount of 700 Dollars he allegedly owes to Mexican Firm &qu...
Read full storyMan-eating calf brings terror to rural India
A farmer in Chandipur, a coastal village 150 miles southwest of Calcutta, has succeeded in cross breeding his cow with a Bengal tiger, and is now dismayed that the offspring of the union is eating his chickens.
Read full storyJackson/Turlington pachyderm arousal at £75,000 pa
London Zoo - (ReUterus): A world renowned wildlife expert Dr Thomas Hildebrandt receives a salary of £75,000 per annum for a (largely hand) job that entails manual arousal of elephants and rhinos.
Read full storyDuke of Edinburgh to meet Jade Goody
The Duke of Edinburgh will meet Celebrity Big Brother Star (and mother-of-the-year candidate) Jade Goody tomorrow. Although living worlds apart, the Duke has much in common with Miss Goody, because despite having had...
Read full storyAntonella Barba Naked Pictures - Man ID'ed as Justin Timberlake
According to the NJPD, the man in Antonella Barba's nude photos is none other than homosexual superhero Justin Trousersnake.
Read full storyButterfly pornographer arrested for lurid pictures of monarchs
Butterfly pornographer and podiatrist, Gusipe Gallows was arrested yesterday in Santa Cruz after it was found that the lepidopterist had pictures of naked monarchs in his collection. The pictures of the naked monarchs were taken of the little slugs i...
Read full storyWhat job should I take?
I live in Scotland, but want a job in London. What job should I get?...
Read full storyTom and Jerry to split
TV favourites Tom and Jerry are set to call a halt to their violent capers it emerged this week. The famous cat and mouse duo have been together since the 1930s but believe it's time to call it a day.
Read full storyBannatyne stumps up £100k for a sarny
THE FUTURE of Dragons' Den, the reality TV show for wannabe entrepreneurs, looks to be in tatters after panellist Duncan Bannatyne invested £100,000 in an idea no different to a humble sandwich.
Read full storyBird Flu Strikes Again! Huey, Dewey and Louie...now Just Dewey.
There's nothing funny about the image of Sesame Street's Big Bird with a sniffle.
Read full storyNo need for movie scripts in Wisconsin with real life Jackass
Eau Claire, Wisconsin - (Riotous): Innovative market testing of male contraceptives took a retrograde step today as a pair of Wisconsin men attempted to replicate a Jackass movie scene that makes future use of condoms virtually obsolete.
Read full storyAmerica's Next Top Hooker Premieres On CW11
America's Next Top Hooker, aka, The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll, premiered Wednesday night with a fresh set of hookers ready to join the ultimate prostitutes band, the Pussycat Dolls.
Read full storyOnly racist slags buy from Carphone Whorehouse after BB fiasco
London - (Ass Mess): Former Celebrity Big Brother sponsor Carphone Whorehouse has complained that since its disastrous association with the racism reality TV show only pimps, brothel owners and abusive slags have bought its products.
Read full storyHeather Mills demands standard £500 per hour divorce deal
London - (Rotters): Heather Mills has told a judge that her divorce from Paul McCartney should be based on what she has always charged. At around £500 per hour this reflects her age, looks and range of services. And takes into account that she stan...
Read full storyEvidence found Duke lacrosse players learned sex from monarch butterfly
Hard evidence was entered into the case defending Duke lacrosse players which links several of the accused to butterfly sex techniques. In an effort to understand the player's, researchers of the case found that several of the players were tutore...
Read full storyHarold Macmillan found alive!
Earlier today, former Conservative Prime Minister Harold Macmillan was found to be living in a nursing home near Eastbourne. Known to everyone at the home simply as 'Fred', he was transferred there after staying in hospital b...
Read full storyWho is Camp David?
Washington D.C- Whitehouse aides are this morning desperately trying to play down rumours that the President is conducting a secret extramarital affair.
Read full storyFergie Curses Gypsies Over Mystery Squad Disappearances
Sir Alex Ferguson celebrated a fifth successive Manchester United win and a place in the Champions League quarter-finals, but claimed it had been a "bad week" for the reds. While Ferguson is not complaining at a 1-0 win ove...
Read full storyGreat News For Blonde Women Using EFFUCTOR HRT
Dr. Stanford Templeton - Still caught in the cycle of depression? You won't be for long. EFFUCTOR HRT is believed to work by affecting the levels of two naturally occurring enzymes in blonde womens' brains: peroxide
Read full storyAmerican Idol Judge Simon Cowell in Critical Condition
NEW YORK, NEW YORK--(Rutoids) Simon Cowell, television star judge of the popular singing competition show, "American Idol", was rushed to NYU Medical Center in critical, but, stable conditi...
Read full storyMichael Winner is the Father of My Child - Charlotte Church
The world of light entertainment was thrown into turmoil last night when Charlotte Church announced that Welsh rugby's first David Beckham, Gavin Henson, "is history", and insurance salesman Michael Winner is t...
Read full storySex Sells Out
It is being reported that Australian born media scoundrel, Rupert Murdoch, has bought all rights to sex.
Read full storyAntonella Barba nude photos inspire Sony's new American i-Doll
Move over Barbie! Feck off Action Man! Sony are taking over the doll market and hoping to capitalise on the massive success of singer and part time whore Antonella Barba.
Read full storyComic Book Superhero Captain America Dies
Captain America was killed in his latest Marvel Comics issue. The superhero, who was first published in World War II to fight against Hitler, joins a long list of dead comic book heros (several of whom have been resurrected or reborn). The New York...
Read full storyBritney Spears Staying In Rehab
Shirley Knott: HOLLYWOOD - Moi dahlinks, what is up with our new best breakdown, Britney Spears? Her Sinéad O'Connor twinfest is becoming tedious, and Moi recently read that she was hung.
Read full storyDrambuie Pursuit Replaces Real Sports!
First the colonies introduced Nascar, then Disney made Cars and now the UK offers the Drambuie Pursuit. Real sports seem to be fading into the background as technology moves to the forefront. Wheels are replacing legs not just because of Bush-Blair&#...
Read full storyParaphernalia4yourgenitalia Launches StallWall.Scrawl
P4YourGenitalia has launched a new webshite called StallWall. Scrawl dedicated to the cleverest bathroom wall graffiti from across the shittin', pissin world. The site utilzes a toiletcam to record the proverbs of the pissers and the shiboleths of the shitters. In the first release of the webshite, the top ten floaters rose to the surface:...
Read full storyDuel Alert! War of WORDS between Microsoft and Google Escalates into a War of SWORDS
Google execs were furious this week when a Microsoft lawyer publicly accused Google of copyright violations.
Read full storyUK Buziness Gets Busy Shafting Women!
BritBiz, an online business journal, has published a report showing how British businesses have discovered that women executives quit when they realize that their companies don't give a fig about childcare and that smart ladies can make their own...
Read full storyBuster and the Baby angel, Chapter 14
Should we chart the origins of Buster and, dare we say, HIS baby angel we would find that both in some way held on by spit and glue to a fate that might bring them to more than the usual destruction or mediocrity -perhaps the same thing- as Thoreau's most(you know, lives of quiet or worse disquieted desperation). Spit on the cheek of the endeared if slobbered Buster and glue on the often sore...
Read full storyUnarmed UK Cops Hits Woman; Video gets 4 stars!
Directed by Sir David Attenborough and funded by the British Footballers Association, a video displaying unarmed UK cops beating a woman has made a worldwide internet hit!...
Read full storyUS releases Godless coins
Some 50,000 brand new George Washington dollar coins have been inadvertently released by the US Mint without the traditional inscription, "In God We Trust".
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