Great News For Blonde Women Using EFFUCTOR HRT

Written by politicalpop

Thursday, 8 March 2007

image for Great News For Blonde Women Using EFFUCTOR HRT
If only she'd known about EFFEXOR FU SFA

Dr. Stanford Templeton - Still caught in the cycle of depression? You won't be for long. EFFUCTOR HRT is believed to work by affecting the levels of two naturally occurring enzymes in blonde womens' brains: peroxide and silicone. Because EFFUCTOR XR works on these chemicals, it is known as an SNRI, or silicone neoprene reflation implantor.

This information should not take the place of your doctor's advice or instructions. If you cannot read this information or want to know more about EFFUCTOR XR, ask your doctor or health care professional.

Important Safety Information

Great News For Blond Women, Children and Teenagers Everywhere

Antidepressants such as EFFUCTOR XL5, increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behaviour in American blonde women, children and teenagers. Patients who are started on therapy should be observed closely for clinical worsening, suicidality, or unusual changes in behavior, like death. EFFUCTOR HB (venlaxitive HRT) is not approved for use on blonde women, children and teenagers.

Which is great news. Did you know that depression is associated with an increased risk of suicidal thoughts, self harm and suicide? This risk persists until significant remission occurs. As improvement may not occur during the first few weeks or more of treatment, patients should be closely monitored to make sure they're still alive. It is general joked about in medical circles that with all antidepressant therapies the risk of suicide may increase in the early stages of recovery. What a gas.

More great news. Other psychiatric conditions for which EFFUCTOR is prescribed can also be associated with an increased risk of suicidal behaviour. In addition, these suicides may be pretty morbid with major depressive disorder. The same precautions observed when treating blonde women with major depressive disorder should therefore be observed when treating other nut job psychiatric disorders.

It gets better. Blonde women with a history of suicidal behaviour or thoughts, or those exhibiting a significant degree of suicidal idealisation prior to commencement of treatment, are at a greater risk of suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts, and should receive careful monitoring during treatment.

But don't go away, there is a possibility of an increased risk of suicide related behaviour in young adults ages 18-29. Young adults should therefore be monitored carefully throughout treatment with EFFUCTOR.

But it's not all good news. There are insufficient data concerning the risk of suicide related behaviour in treating naïve blonde female patients, but careful monitoring might be warranted.

So if you know a blonde women, they should be alerted about the need to monitor for the emergence of suicidal idealisation or thoughts of harming themselves and to seek medical advice immediately if these symptoms present.

So that's great news for blonde women everywhere. Still caught in the cycle of depression? You won't be for long.

Disclaimer: EFFUCTOR is in no way related to a drug of nearly the same name, EFFEXOR XR, which is a completely unrelated drug, and like alcohol, not approved for use on blonde women, children and teenagers. Plenty of innocent animals and blonde women were harmed during the writing of this learned scientific article, all in the name of progress.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more