Duel Alert! War of WORDS between Microsoft and Google Escalates into a War of SWORDS

Written by Gail Farrelly

Thursday, 8 March 2007

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Google execs were furious this week when a Microsoft lawyer publicly accused Google of copyright violations.

Words flew back and forth, until finally a Google official said, "Enough of this verbal sparring. Let's settle our differences once and for all with a duel." Microsoft agreed.

The arrangements are most specific and quite civilized. The duel will take place at Yankee Stadium in New York City at sunset on April 15, income tax day. Tickets for the match will go on sale at midnight, March 30. Recalling Shakespeare's line, "kill all the lawyers," the execs agreed that each company would select an attorney to participate in the duel.

NBC will televise the event, with selected snippets to be available on YouTube. Microsoft has the book rights and also reserves the right to take photographs to be sold on eBay.

Some speculate that public duels may ultimately replace jury trials. Makes sense. Who wants to face a cry baby like Judge Larry Seidlin, an abrasive shrew like Judge Judy, or a total wimp like Judge Ito? In fact, rumors are circulating that future dueling events may already be in the works. Possible matches include Donald Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell, Howard K. Stern vs. Vergie Arthur, and Ann Coulter vs. Bill Maher.

Let the games begin!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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