Spears Checks Self Into Rehab - Blames Hilton For Bad Haircut

Written by Justin Thyme

Thursday, 8 March 2007

(AP) Los Angeles, CA - Britney Spears, joining the ranks of gal pals Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, has checked herself into rehab. Spears could not be reached for comment this morning but her mother told reporters, "oops - she did it again," then giggled under her breath as if proud of her insensitive quip.

Spears' publicist told the AP that Britney woke from a drunken stupor to find that she had shaved ¾ of her hair before passing out the night before. She began, "crying and cursing Paris [Hilton]," says her publicist. "I asked her what she meant and she said Paris told her if she wanted to enrich her relationships that she should take a shave. I sat her down, cleared my throat and let her know that she shaved the wrong area.

She didn't remember shaving her head and forgot about several photos on the internet that exposed her already shorn goody-box."

"She blames Paris for playing a terrible prank on her and praying on her weakened condition," she concluded.

Allegedly, when Spears woke and stumbled to a mirror, she gazed at her smooth scalp and "went number two in her thong." Well Mrs. Spears, perhaps a more appropriate quip would have been - poops she did it again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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