Beer catapult vies for Nobel Peace prize

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 8 March 2007

image for Beer catapult vies for Nobel Peace prize
Less than 30 seconds later the beer can be poured into a glass in the usual way

Raleigh - (Rioters): A revolutionary invention which sees an adapted fridge launch a can of beer at thirsty drinkers via remote-control technology has been hailed as a life-saving device fit for nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize.

22 year old inventor John Cornwell modified a college campus mini-fridge to toss him an iced beer at the flick of a button using a car's keyless entry device, a moving shelf and a sprung lever directed at wherever someobe is sitting.

The contraption is good for 20 cans per hour and its ideal lobbing distance is approximately 10 feet.

And now the invention has attracted judges in the Nobel Peace Prize adjudication committee who told the press today that more wars and armed conflicts begin with arguments over who gets up to fetch the beer during televised football games than for any other reason.

In nominating Cornwell's beer catapult, committee members said there would also be a lot less bother at UN Security Council sessions if the auditorium could be fitted with an adapted version of his invention so that UN members could refresh themselves during feverish discussions about arms proliferation, global warming and the mystery of what happened to Britney Spears's hair extensions.

A few walls have been dented during the experimental stage of his design according to Cornwell. But having poached some Pentagon micro-wave technology that normally precision-guides Pershing missiles the initial glitches have now been ironed out.

A teetotal version is currently under construction and patents have been lodged around the world.

The Nobel Committee will make its usual announcement in December.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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