Fergie Curses Gypsies Over Mystery Squad Disappearances

Written by politicalpop

Thursday, 8 March 2007

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Sir Alex Ferguson celebrated a fifth successive Manchester United win and a place in the Champions League quarter-finals, but claimed it had been a "bad week" for the reds. While Ferguson is not complaining at a 1-0 win over Lille for once, the Scot is getting concerned about disappearances linked to a nearby caravan site.

After losing Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and Darren Fletcher in the past week already, Ferguson confirmed Louis Saha would miss up to a month selling sprigs of heather in the nearby Trafford Centre.

And, if that was not bad enough, defender Mikael Silvestre now faces a lengthy spell feeding horses on disused ground near Swinton.

"Apart from the results, it has been a bad week with those gypsies moving in," said Ferguson.

"It is not looking good for Mikael at all. At first, we thought he had gone for a number two, but he never came back. It is another big blow for us because, in the space of a week, we have lost five players to the gypsies. Louis will be missing for four weeks, although with sprigs of heather, you can never be sure exactly how long it will take to sell the lot. Ole will not be available until March 31 when the police will move them down the East Lancs Road, Darren Fletcher is out for two months, and now Henrik Larsson has been stolen by pikies."

Given the developing problems on the gypsy front, Ferguson might have been tempted to ask Larsson to stay. Instead, the 35-year-old Swede has confirmed his intention to head over to the gypsy site for good, despite Ferguson's reluctance to lose his services.

Larsson provided United with the perfect farewell gift last night by presenting Cristiano Ronaldo with a carved peg 19 minutes from time.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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