No need for movie scripts in Wisconsin with real life Jackass

Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 8 March 2007

image for No need for movie scripts in Wisconsin with real life Jackass
Better to marry than to burn?

Eau Claire, Wisconsin - (Riotous): Innovative market testing of male contraceptives took a retrograde step today as a pair of Wisconsin men attempted to replicate a Jackass movie scene that makes future use of condoms virtually obsolete.

Twenty year old Jared W. Anderson ended up with badly burned hands and genitals after his pal Randell D. Peterson, 43, sprayed him with lighter fuel before setting him alight.

Nobody appeared to have told him that the original movie scene was made with fire-retardant clothing, anti-flame underwear and an array of studio special effects including animation.

Witnesses say Anderson was drunk and took off is pants to enact the Jackass scene he'd just watched on video.

When his body caught fire he ran into the bathroom and doused himself with water. But his injuries were significant and he was taken to the Nether Regions Hospital Burn Unit in St Paul, Minnesota with second-degree burns.

The hospital chaplain said the fire victim's family remained praying at his bedside all night as doctors fought to save his manhood.

"Should have read his bible properly to avoid this mess", said the chaplain.

"Better to marry than to burn is what St Paul said in his Letters to the Collossus".

Peterson was charged with felony battery and first-degree reckless endangerment and is out on $100,000 bail.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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