See The Tattoo Lady
HOLLYWOOD -- Once only at the sideshow, and now on every Hollywood piece of female meat -- I give you one more tattooed lady. This one's an up and coming Angelina Jolie carbon would-be copier.
Read full storySperm-flavored cocaine all the rage in LA
Los Angeles, California - (Ass Mess): Narcotics agents in Yolo County, California have arrested six people after impounding over five pounds of innovative sperm-flavor cocaine.
Read full storyPink Floyd To Tour Working Men's Clubs
Rock legends Pink Floyd are set to go on the road in August, taking in three hundred working men's clubs over 150 days.
Read full storyBandar suspected over baffling London 'suicide' of Mossad spook
Mayfair, London - (Ass Mess): London's inexplicable suicide season is in full swing today with the news that Saudi Arabian slush fund libertine Prince Bandar may be a relieved man after the Mossad son-in-law of former Egyptian president Gamal Abd...
Read full storyGordon Brown - Britain's 50 Second Prime Minister
In accepting the Queen's invitation to form a Government Gordon Brown has become Great Britain's 52nd Prime Minister, but Labour party insiders secretly think of him as the "50 Second Prime Minister".
Read full storyGordon Brown & Nicolas Sarkozy Possibly US 'Sleeper Agents'
BRUSSELS (Daily Sprout Staff Writer) - The direction of the European Union may quite possibly be in the hands of two American 'Sleeper Agents': Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy.
Read full storyBald Eagle Removed from Endangered Species List
District of Columbia (AP) - Environmentalists cheered the news that the American Bald Eagle has been removed from the endangered species list in the United States for the first time in forty years.
Read full storyCatholic bishops of England and Wales demanded human rights for "interspecies embryos"
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - It appears that having a mouse with human brain cells take over for President Bush has had some repercussions. President Fievel's first act as president was to get on the hot-line and call the Pope, demanding...
Read full storyVoting Dog Has Issues
A Washington state woman recently admitted that she registered her dog Duncan as a voter and allowed him to cast absentee ballots in several elections.
Read full storyHilary Clinton Meets with Women of Color
On Tuesday, at a Washington hotel, Democratic Presidential front-runner Hilary Clinton met with some 300 "women of color" to try to shore up their support in her race against, "man of color," Barak Obama.
Read full storyBlair rehired as GOP mercenary
London - (Ass Mess): Ex UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has confirmed that he has been rehired by the GOP after officially standing down from his London day job.
Read full storyNepotism run riot as Gordon Brown makes his son Foreign Secretary
London - (Rotters): In a daft twist of nepotism new UK Prime Monster Gordon Brown has appointed his natural son David Millipede as Foreign Secretary.
Read full storyGood riddance to Tessa Jowl as cops vow to nail her spouse
London - (Ass Mess): Stripped of her Cabinet Ministery priviledge in today's reshuffle fetid old crone Tessa Jowl is apoplectic that police will now taregt her and her shyster lawyer husband David "Dark Satanic" Mills in the re-opened p...
Read full storyThe Stranglers To Reissue Classic 1982 Single
The Stranglers, the iconic late 1970s punk supergroup with a string of memorable hits, have marked the forced installation of Britain's new Prime Minister by re-releasing their 1982 chartbusting single, Gordon Br...
Read full storyGerman furor over Merkel 'breastfeeding' story
Berlin - (Ass Mess): German people have reacted angrily to a Polish magazine story showing their PM Angela Merkel breastfeeding Pope Joseph Ratzinger on the cover of the International Fascist Tribune.
Read full storyBush falls headlong into subpoenas snakepit
Washington DC - (Rotters): The war of wills racheted up to a new pain threshhold today as George W Bush clung to his fantasy that he, Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales are above the law and needn't respond to Congressional subpoenas for documents...
Read full storyRight wing daily newspaper: Woman should be kept in cages
In a recent radio interview the Chief Editor of a Daily right wing newspaper, stunned the DJ by claiming that women should be kept in cages. Unfortunately due to legal reasons the paper and the editor cannot be named.
Read full storyBlair quizzed for the third time about cash for porno stars and peerages
London - (Ass Mess): Cash-for-peerages cops have quizzed ex-UK Prime Monster for the third time this week and finally formally read him his rights as his solicitor demanded.
Read full storyBandar apoplectic as Lockerbie bomber wins second appeal
Scotland - (Ass Mess): Saudi Arabia's former ambassador to the USA Prince Bandar is said to be apoplectic with rage as the House of Lords granted the Lockerbie bomber, Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi, a second appeal to his 27 year sentence.
Read full storyR 'n' B Star Usher is the Daddy
Singer Usher and his partner Tameka Foster (Who?) are expecting their first child together, the couple have announced.
Read full storyPuppet Monarchy is crumbling along with Buckingham Palace: report
Buckingham Palace - (Ass Mess): Royal accounts published today show that over £3 million is needed in botox fees alone to give the House of Mountbatten's Puppet Monarchy the desperately needed facelift if requires to survive beyond the weekend.
Read full storyTwo Rings of Power Found
WALES (AP Newsliar) -- Two previously unknown Rings of Power have been found in an ancient collapsed well in Wales. The rings were unearthed by construction workers who excavated the well while digging a new sewage line in Merthyr Tydfil.
Read full storyTen Things You Probably Didn't Know About Sand
Having just moved home, I stumbled across some books and such from when I was at High School. I think this was around 1994, when I would have been thirteen coming fourteen, so please don't take the piss too much. The reason I have published it is because having read this site for two days solid, I've found myself reading anything in the context that it's spoof, or in jest, and as such this relat...
Read full storyFinally - It's not a Crime to be White!
CAPITOL HILL (TheSpoof.com) EXCLUSIVE by Lily White - After centuries of verbal, literary and psychological abuse, Caucasian legislators, fearful of losing their historic color majority to people of "color," have won a vali...
Read full storyThe Dangers of Teeth Whitening Kits Exposed
Dentists and leading scientists have compiled a report highlighting the significant risks involved with DIY "over the counter" teeth whitening kits. It has emerged that a single pack could contain upto more than twice the amount of bleach f...
Read full storyMcCartney Pelted With Eggs At LA Record Shop
Hundreds of music fans camped outside a noted Los Angeles music store yesterday to catch a glimpse of former ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney, and to grab the opportunity to throw eggs at him.
Read full storySpice Girls To Reunite
1990s common-as-muck Pop Slags, the Spice Girls have announced that they plan to reunite later this year. The "ladies" will announce a number of gigs throughout the UK sometime this week.
Read full storyUS Weekly, People Magazine, Ban Paris Hilton Stories This Month
In a defiant move, to sell fewer copies, this month People Magazine and Us Weekly have enforced a moratorium on Paris Hilton stories. Not only did they ban Paris stories but they claim to have methodically gone over the editions scouring for ad relat...
Read full storyCheney's Secret Service Nickname Leaked
MONTREAL (Gazette Staff Writer) - In the spirit of Glasnost, the US Secret Service code name for Dick Cheney has been revealed to be "Angler".
Read full storyCelebrity Big Brother Chantelle & Preston Evict Each Other
Celebrity Big Brother housemates Chantelle Houghton and Samuel Preston have decided to evict each other from their marriage after only 10 months together.
Read full storyZoellick Takes Reign at World Bank
District of Columbia (Reuterus) - Robert Zoellick will become the 11th World Bank president effective July 1st. The son of an Austrian customs official and a young peasant girl, Zoellick was a surprise nominee by George Bush due to his Austrian heri...
Read full storyParis Hilton Leaves Jail, Vows to return
After 23 days of incarceration, socialite and heiress Paris Hilton claims she has grown accustomed to life in jail and can no longer live outside the confines of a jail cell.
Read full storyiPhone lAcks sEveral iMportant fUnctions
Our sTaff's cLose eXamination of the wAy oVerhyped iPhone - now they've got me doing it - has found several big gaps in the functions the public desires of its appliances.
Read full storyNASCAR Fans Have Racy IQ's
(Talladega, Alabama) - A study of NASCAR fans has found that those who attend NASCAR events have an average IQ higher than most college graduates.
Read full storyUS Supreme Court Denies Bong Hits for Jesus: Jesus Pissed
The United States Supreme Court, in a 5-4 vote, declared that Bong hits for Jesus were illegal.
Read full storyMaturbating Melbourne Man Gets Stabbed, Keeps it Up
A Melbourne man who was caught by his girl friend masturbating in front of her two young children was stabbed twice by the woman, but refused to relinquish his grip on his mighty sword.
Read full storyParis Hilton Sold Her Soul to the Devil, admits it on Larry King
An emergency summit was called by theologians, philosophers, media watch dogs, political campaigners and clergy persons to try and figure out this whole Paris Hilton phenomenon. There just seems to be no earthly explanation to this Paris fervor. So...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Voluntarily Extends Rehab Time
Lindsay Lohan voluntarily extended her time in a Los Angeles area rehab center. The starlet is receiving treatment due to her drunk driving accidents and party girl lifestyle. Lohan's parents have also been in the news recently over a much disput...
Read full storyUpset P.M. Gordon Brown Finds Downing Street Home Empty of Essentials
In a move that reminded political historians of the evacuation of the White House by Jimmy Carter, Gordon Brown entered the Prime Minister's residence on Downing Street to find it empty.
Read full storyTony Blair Resignation as Prime Minister Brings Tears to Bush
Tony Blair resigned as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Great Britain. The announcement caused mixed reactions from the world political community and great sorrow at the White House.
Read full storyVice President Dick Cheney Subpoenaed by Senate
The United States Senate issued a subpoena for VIce President Dick Cheney. Cheney, who is actually President of the Senate, refused to take note. "No law or vote is official until I bang my little gavel thingie, and I have no plans to pound it...
Read full storyParis Hilton Gets iPhone; Hackers Gunning For Her
Paris Hilton has been seen using a new iPhone from Apple in recent paparazzi photos. Hilton previously got public attention for her digital device when hackers downloaded contact info from her cell phone back in 200...
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