Two Rings of Power Found

Funny story written by Doppelbock

Thursday, 28 June 2007

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Two previously unknown Rings of Power found.

WALES (AP Newsliar) -- Two previously unknown Rings of Power have been found in an ancient collapsed well in Wales. The rings were unearthed by construction workers who excavated the well while digging a new sewage line in Merthyr Tydfil.

Originally twenty rings of power were thought to exist, made during the Second Age of Middle earth, somewhere between 8,000 and 10,000 years ago. All were created by the Elves with assistance from Sauron, except the last -- the One Ring -- which was made by Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom.

The shape of all the lands have changed since the last ages of Middle earth, making it difficult to correlate present-day Wales to a specific ancient land. According to geographic and archaeological research conducted by Professor Huw Jorgyn at the University of Wales, Merthyl Tydfil most likely corresponds to what was once the southwestern region of The Shire, not far from the foothills of the Blue Mountains. If true, the two rings may be of Elven origin, given their proximity to the Great East Road leading from the Grey Havens to Rivendell.

A fragment of text, recently discovered in a previously uncatalogued holding of ancient scrolls at the Chained Library at Hereford Cathedral, suggests a possible origin of the rings. The text indicates that two such rings may have been made by Celenimrod, the mentally challenged half-Elven brother of Celebrimbor, who made the three Rings of the Elves. The writing engraved on the rings supports this interpretation; a rough translation from Elvish is as follows: "OMG LOL, these rings are teh funny, u should put them on 4 laffs."

Authorities have reported that preliminary experimentation by the construction workers revealed that the rings transform one of the wearers into a scantily clad Elf maiden and the other into a rutting Satyr. More detailed testing will begin next month at the U. of Wales to further investigate the powers of the two rings. The construction workers were not available for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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