London - (Rotters): In a daft twist of nepotism new UK Prime Monster Gordon Brown has appointed his natural son David Millipede as Foreign Secretary.
Despite a dearth of talent comparable to the feckless David Blunkett or Tessa Jowl, Brown has insisted the gormless halfwit that he spawned back in 1965 gets the cushy top job at the Foreign Office.
Millipede, 41, has all the charisma and professional abilities of decomposing roadkill according to his MI5 security file which lists him as one of the most dangerous and fanatical terrorists ever to have blamed luckless Asians for a series of UK mainland bombing atrocities generally attributed to fanatical opium-peddlers.
Other notables in the Brown cabinet include Jackie Smith as Home Secretary, whose political experience has never risen above and beyond a stint of fellatio behind the Cabinet Secretary's office just before Prime Minister's Question Time.
And with Alistair Darling in charge of the Treasury the line-up on the government front benches shows a stunning return to the sort of mediocrity that only Tory PM Edward heath was ever able to better.
As for Jack Straw being made Justice Minister, many think it's not unlikely that the next thing Gordon Brown will do is issue an immediate pardon for the Yorkshire Ripper and give him the post of Minister for Women's Affairs.
