Resolute Bay - (Ass Mess): A massive ice island is threatening to cut off Corrupt Bastards Club pipelines after drifting from its 2005 Canadian coastal break-off point towards Resolute Bay's neighboring oil and gas installations.
"This icy behemoth could smash up our very lifelines," sources close to corruption-indicted VECO executives said today as Ayles Ice Island suddenly became jammed in pack ice.
The frozen floater measures some 10 miles long and three miles wide and has travelled over 190 miles into the Sverdrup Channel inlet between two of the Queen Elizabeth Islands.
These form the northernmost tip of the Canadian High Arctic where Alaska-originating pipeline networks are embedded deep in the sea and are now inaccessible for routine maintenance as well as for any emergency salvage works in a crisis.
"We're afraid that a pipework eruption could trigger an oil spill bigger and more hideous than the 1989 Exxon Valdez fiasco, for which Exxon Mobil has yet to cough up its $2.5 billion opun punitive damages," CBC sources whined today.
"That of course would bankrupt the corporation and send the majority of Corrupt Bastards Club members to the gallows."
Senator Ted Stevens is being stablilised with anti-psychotics.
