Humans evolved from arm-chairs, claim scientists

Funny story written by Jesus Budda

Friday, 31 August 2007

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A typical white woman, showing no respect for her ancestry

Scientists at the University of Oklahoma, have proposed that human beings evolved from arm-chairs.

"The similarities are immense", claims Dr Aras Hole, "for instance look at the limbs of a human. Surely they are related to those of a chair. We have legs. Chairs have legs. We have arms and likewise arm-chairs, by their very nature also have arms".

The study, which began in 1997 after a team discovered an ancient arm-chair burial ground in Nebraska. "That find greatly enhanced our knowledge", said Dr Hole, "it showed us that they lived in groups just like humans".

"Haven't you ever wondered about the strange likeness chairs have to people?", continued Dr. Hole, "I propose that we (humans) evolved from chairs back in the early Neolithic period. The difference being that humans became the dominant species and subsequently enslaved our arm-chair brothers, relegating them to merely household furniture items".

The full report will be available sometime later in the year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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