Funny story:  Sexy Supermodel Kate Upton Dating Detroit Pitcher Justin Verlander

Sexy Supermodel Kate Upton Dating Detroit Pitcher Justin Verlander

DETROIT - It appears that Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton may have found the sports figure she has been looking for. Upton and American League all-star pitcher Justin Verlander, who pitches for the Detroit Tigers, were recently spotte...
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Funny story:  Nadine Coyle Brands Cheryl Cole a Talent Bint

Nadine Coyle Brands Cheryl Cole a Talent Bint

It has been reported by visitors of Nadine Coyle's Irish themed LA bar, that Coyle herself named ex band mate Cheryl Cole a "talentless bint."  She was apparently "stone cold sober" when she made the claim.  The singer had walked to the stage t...
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Funny story:  Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Sausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake

Modern-day medical research demonstrates a clear and consistent link between meat consumption and virtually all Western diseases - cancer, heart disease and diabetes, to name just a few. Could sausage possibly be an exception? Sausage company H...
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Funny story:  "Are your Swiss Bank Accounts Any Better Off Now Than They Were Four Years Ago"? Mitt To U.S. Dressage Federation Convention

"Are your Swiss Bank Accounts Any Better Off Now Than They Were Four Years Ago"? Mitt To U.S. Dressage Federation Convention

Mitt Romney today demonstrated a profound sense of the moment and just how severely in touch he can be with his audience in a speech before the U.S. Dressage Federation summer convention being held in the Cayman Islands over the past two months. It w...
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Funny story:  The brave buttocks of World War One

The brave buttocks of World War One

In the early 1900s there was an arms race throughout Europe - or to be more precise, a buttock race. Countries vied with each other to produce armies of men with the finest pertest buttocks. New photographic magazines such as the British "Cheek" and "Rump" and their German counterparts "Das Ass" and "Teutonic Tushy" glorified the best bums their countries had to offer. Perhaps it was inevitable th...
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Funny story:  Paul Simon at Hard Rock Calling - Review

Paul Simon at Hard Rock Calling - Review

EIF News & Features' tame music critic Pierre Noxious hasn't put pen to paper for us for a while, so when we heard he was going to see Paul Simon at Hyde Park we water-boarded him until he agreed to review the show for us at standard NUJ rates… Paul Simon is a songwriter and musician of unparalleled skill, observation, wit and talent. Just as well really, because Hyde Park is a horrible,...
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Funny story:  Nottingham News: For W/E: 14th July 2012 - With Comments

Nottingham News: For W/E: 14th July 2012 - With Comments

Monday 9th July 2012 Topic: Crime - Murder "Man died after stabbing in Nottingham" Source: Nottingham Police Site Extract: A man who died after sustaining injuries during the early hours of this morning was stabbed, police have tonight confirmed. A Home Office post-mortem examination confirmed the cause of death as a stab wound to the leg. The victim, who is believed to be in h...
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Funny story:  My Senior Moments: W/E: 14th July 2012

My Senior Moments: W/E: 14th July 2012

Monday 9th July 2012 * Still the knees are bothersome, but I got some good sleep in for once. * Noticed that two burglar alarm lights on adjoining houses opposite were flashing on the street when I opened the windows about 0330hrs, the rain was falling (well, belting down!), and a new collection of crushed beer cans were scattered over the street outside - so, nothing unusual there! * Pop...
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Funny story:  Tour de France's Surprising Mundanity

Tour de France's Surprising Mundanity

The Tour de France sensationally passed off today with no criminal incident. Onlookers looked on with stunned amazement as no discernable sabotage or doping or any other criminality occurred. With the possible exception of Bradley Wiggins' yellow...
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Funny story:  Dogging Tragedy Leaves Three Dead

Dogging Tragedy Leaves Three Dead

The picturesque village of Little Divot suffered yet another in a long line of headline making calamities after three local residents met their maker in a most undignified way. The three perverted victims, named locally as Randy B'Stard, Fanny So...
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Funny story:  Selected Political News for W/E 14th July 2012 - with comments

Selected Political News for W/E 14th July 2012 - with comments

Monday 9th July 2012 Topic: Traffic chaos, Wardens reinstated "Parking wardens' comeback in Aberystwyth" Source: The Sun Extract: The free-for-all in Aberystwyth, Wales, has caused chaos and forced council bosses to do a U-turn. A seven-strong team will now start ticketing again on bank holiday Monday. The change of heart came after the town laid off its last traffic warden in Ju...
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Funny story:  Its official, Nick Clegg has finally started shaving

Its official, Nick Clegg has finally started shaving

The embarassing boyish bum fluff in finally beginning to disappear from that delicate soft skinned chin to be replaced by a more darker stiffer growth of hair. He's secretly hoping this welcome change will make him appear more manly, like his former...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 16th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 16th July 2012

Liverpool have turned down an approach from Newcastle to get Andy Carroll on a season long loan. They refused the deal after Chelsea turned down an approach from Liverpool to take Fernando Torres on a season long loan. Chelsea turned down the offer after Shanghai Shenhua turned down an approach from Chelsea to take Didier Drogba on a season long loan. Shanghai Shenhua turned down the app...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 15th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 15th July 2012

Arsenal's new signing Lukas Podolski has urged striker Robin van Persie to stay at the club after the Dutchman said he will not be signing a new Gunners contract. "Please don't go, please don't go, Rob I love you so, and I want you know" ... Kilmarnock manager Kenny Shiel has had to give up on re-signing his midfielder son, Dean, saying he does not have the money to bring in any additional pl...
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Funny story:  Athlete's Foot arrives in London for Games

Athlete's Foot arrives in London for Games

London - A nasty outbreak of Tinea Pedis or foot ringworm has arrived in London and is heading straight for the Olympic Village. Foot-in-Mouth Olympic sources said this afternoon they are dealing with the problem by making competitors walk through...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 14th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 14th July 2012

Nottingham Forest's new owners want Peterborough manager Darren Ferguson, 40, to take charge of the team after they sacked Steve Cotterill Ferguson is odds on with the bookies, other names on the list include Nigel Clough, Roy Keane, Roy Keanes dog and a statue of Brian Clough the 1000/1 outsider. Michael Owen says he is still waiting for a "good opportunity" ahead of the new season, but has...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 12th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 12th July 2012

Wolves pair Steven Fletcher and Matt Jarvis can leave the relegated club - but only for "once-in-a-lifetime offers". No word yet form Angelina Jolie - but never give up hope. The Al-Hasawi family have completed their takeover of Championship side Nottingham Forest from the estate of Nigel Doughty. They're gonna be fuming when they find out its a football club and not a real forest. In an a...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 13th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 13th July 2012

Porto striker Hulk has denied he is close to signing a deal to join Chelsea. The 25-year-old, who is part of the Brazil squad for this summer's Olympics, is happy to remain in Portugal. He's waiting for Chelsea to play in a green kit before he signs an incredible deal. David Beckham will not stay in London for the whole Olympics after he was left out of the Team GB squad. He will instead retu...
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Funny story:  Joe Paterno Family to Conduct Its Own Whitewash

Joe Paterno Family to Conduct Its Own Whitewash

Word out of Happy Valley, PA, is that the fox is rounding up the usual suspects over the hen house raid. Worse, the Paterno family believes the Freeh Report is inaccurate, and they will set the record straight. Yes, there is no more reliable and o...
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Funny story:  Ron Paul To Appear On Dancing With The Stars

Ron Paul To Appear On Dancing With The Stars

BOISE, Idaho - Congressman Ron Paul's political campaign tour stopped off in Boise, the town where potatoes were first invented hundreds and hundreds of years ago. The native Texan told a crowd that had gathered in the parking lot of the local Bur...
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Funny story:  Olympic Security Problem Solved!

Olympic Security Problem Solved!

Ministers have denied there is to be a shortfall in security in the coming Olympic Games. They insisted this was an "oversight" and security is to be expected at full capacity. Brian Binns, MP for Heathrow and Gatwick said "I don't know what all...
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Funny story:  Lady Gaga Goes Ga-Ga For New Boy-Toy

Lady Gaga Goes Ga-Ga For New Boy-Toy

MANHATTAN - Lady Gaga says that she has been keeping pretty much of a low profile recently and it has helped her to re-evaluate the direction of her career. The singer told Ty Tickler with Hollywood Innuendo that she wants to be more than just a s...
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Funny story:  Oil Slick Causes Chaos During The Tour de France

Oil Slick Causes Chaos During The Tour de France

Disruption in the middle of Stage 15 of The Tour de France as Olivier Arbre clumsily clattered off his one hundred year old bicycle, spilling the gallons of olive oil he had earlier collected from the press. When interviewed by passing Bradley Wi...
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Funny story:  Donald Trump Wants To See Condoleezza Rice's Birth Certificate

Donald Trump Wants To See Condoleezza Rice's Birth Certificate

NEW YORK CITY - In the interest of fair play, billionaire talking head, Donald Trump says that if Mitt Romney picks Condoleezza Rice to be his vice-presidential running mate that he will insist on viewing her birth certificate. Political Salad Bar...
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Funny story:  In A Shocking Turn of Events: American Idol Is Losing All Three of Its Judges

In A Shocking Turn of Events: American Idol Is Losing All Three of Its Judges

HOLLYWOOD - Season 12 of American Idol is going to look a little bit different that the end of last season did. The only recognizable person on the show will be Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest. Word out of Tinsel Town is that there are serious rumblings c...
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Funny story:  Yet another weeky leeks scoop

Yet another weeky leeks scoop

Our intrepid reporter has just phoned in his latest report, telling us that the well known geriatric crooner Wankadink Humpanoldbag actually died eight months ago. Apparently what we see is an excellent Japanese robotic clone, inch perfect. The voice is masterful and undistinguishable from the real thing, even down to the occasional gasping croak,which one would expect from such an aged person.
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Funny story:  Tweets for the Tweet, and Rolled Newspapers for the Stars

Tweets for the Tweet, and Rolled Newspapers for the Stars

The full-page advertisement in Boston newspapers has been the best way for people to communicate when they make their way out of town. This past weekend in July, both Ray Allen (formerly of the Boston Celtics) and Kevin Youkilis (formerly of the B...
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Funny story:  Meet American Idol's New Judges: The U.S. Supreme Court

Meet American Idol's New Judges: The U.S. Supreme Court

Hollywood - With Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson dismissing themselves as American Idol judges, the show's producers have hired the U.S. Supreme Court to takeover all talent evaluations and rulings on the program. "Listen up, dogs,"...
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Funny story:  Rats Laugh If Tickled, But There's More to the Story

Rats Laugh If Tickled, But There's More to the Story

Scientists were quite elated recently with their earthshaking discovery. Spoof reporters, however, have gone behind the scenes to get all the details about the observed connection between tickling and rat laughter. Like the scientists, they used...
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Funny story:  Judge allows badge culls to stop protestors

Judge allows badge culls to stop protestors

Hundreds of protestors wearing 'Stop Badger Culls' badges were lined up outside the High Court yesterday and stripped of their badges. A judge upheld a Government proposal for two pilot culls to tackle outbreaks of NTBC (No To Badger Culls) in Lon...
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Funny story:  Indiana Jones Hired to Find the Lost Red Sox

Indiana Jones Hired to Find the Lost Red Sox

Larry Lucchino is one of the high muckety-mucks at the Boston Red Sox. His exact title is unknown due to the covert nature of his position with the team. Word has leaked that Lucchino has asked GM Ben Cherington to sign Indiana Jones to find the L...
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Funny story:  'Whorsemeat sausages' all the rage among Kazahk Olympic shot put hopefuls

'Whorsemeat sausages' all the rage among Kazahk Olympic shot put hopefuls

London - 'Kazy Karta' chipolatas made from surplus Kazakh thoroughbreds will be beefing up the country's shot put team's Olympic chances according to an announcement today. The Astana delicacy has an awesome reputation among the nation's gastropod...
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Funny story:  Olympic Medals to be decided by general public vote via  phone in system

Olympic Medals to be decided by general public vote via phone in system

In a refreshing change to how Olympic medals will be awarded the IOC has announced that the public will decide which of the first three competitors in each event will receive the Gold, Silver and Bronze medals during the London games. The concept,...
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Funny story:  Cheryl Cole Comforts Tom Cruise

Cheryl Cole Comforts Tom Cruise

TARZANA, California - Cheryl Cole took time off from her busy schedule to fly from London to Los Angeles and provide Tom Cruise with two comforting shoulders. The handsome couple spent the afternoon relaxing at the famed Tarzan & Jane Petting...
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Funny story:  13,000 year-old poo tells story of gassed-up Native Americans

13,000 year-old poo tells story of gassed-up Native Americans

HARFOLD, Vt. - Scientists at Harfold State College have come to some very different conclusions than their colleagues at the University of Oregon as to what a piece of 13,000 year-old poop means to the history of North America. "Our Oregonian coll...
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Funny story:  Operatic Boy Band Fail to Protect Nation

Operatic Boy Band Fail to Protect Nation

Four opera singers from Guildhall entrusted with protecting the nation during the Olympics have sensationally pulled out. G4 were Pop Factor contestants in some year in this decade. After a string of gigs in the immediate aftermath of the show, th...
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Funny story:  David Beckham, creator of 'Bend it Like Beckham', in promising move to open Rehab Centres.

David Beckham, creator of 'Bend it Like Beckham', in promising move to open Rehab Centres.

Los Angeles, California: LA Galaxy lost 4-3 against rivals San Jose recently. In the final minute of the match, David Beckham was able to 'rehabilitate' an injured player with a 'Bend it Like Beckham' dead ball shot. It was reported that David B...
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Funny story:  Mitt Romney May Tap Condoleezza Rice To Be His Veep

Mitt Romney May Tap Condoleezza Rice To Be His Veep

ABERDEEN, South Dakota - Mitt Romney's campaign staff has urged him to hurry up and pick a vice-presidential running mate so that a lot of the focus and pressure can be taken off of him and placed on his choice for GOP running mate. A source withi...
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Funny story:  Tulisa Sex Tape Row Over

Tulisa Sex Tape Row Over

At the High Court yesterday X Factor judge and singer Tulisa Contostavlos received a "sincere apology" from her ex-boyfriend Justin Edwards after he posted an intimate video of her performing a sex act on him onto the internet. The video surfaced...
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Funny story:  MoD Admits Soldiers Volunteering to Return to Afghanistan Rather than Patrol in London  During Olympics

MoD Admits Soldiers Volunteering to Return to Afghanistan Rather than Patrol in London During Olympics

The Ministry of Defence has confirmed reports that many soldiers have slapped in requests to return to Afghanistan early rather than be deployed in London during the Olympics. Commanding Officers claim that many of their men, when faced with the p...
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Funny story:  Olympic Shock Move

Olympic Shock Move

The International Olympic Committee has taken the drastic step of moving the venue of the Olympic games this year from London to Athens. 'We have been worried for some time about the bungling British apology for satisfactory preperation' said IOC...
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Funny story:  Tracey Emin's new exhibit hailed a critical success

Tracey Emin's new exhibit hailed a critical success

Foremost British Female Artist with Attitude, Tracey Emin's latest exhibition has been hailed her most daring work yet. BBC Art Correspondent, Will Gompertz, has visited the latest works by Emin and has nothing but good words to say about it. "...
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Funny story:  Megan Fox To Star In The Film The Titillating Trophy Wife

Megan Fox To Star In The Film The Titillating Trophy Wife

HOLLYWOOD - Word out of Tinsel Town is that Bellanino Terrabini will soon be directing the Pipe Dreams Films production of The Titillating Trophy Wife. The movie based on the novel by Concordette Corsendonk will star Megan Fox as the young, vivaci...
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Funny story:  BBC Science department experimented on Syd Little

BBC Science department experimented on Syd Little

In the late seventies Little and Large were at their peak and one of the most popular acts on television, but in the late summer of 1979 it is alleged that the BBC Science department conducted scientific experiments on Syd Little. Little had agre...
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Funny story:  Steven Tyler Quits American Idol

Steven Tyler Quits American Idol

LOS ANGELES - Steven Tyler, at the age of 64, says he wants to get back to rocking and rolling with his band Aerosmith. Tyler spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine about the band's soon-to-be-released album. "Lips" as he is known said th...
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Funny story:  The Spoof blamed for the O2 Network crash

The Spoof blamed for the O2 Network crash

Popular website, The Spoof, has been identified as the source of the network crash that brought down the O2 phone network. "It turns out," said Tom O'Byle, technical director at O2, "that the Spoof was being run from the laptop of the editor using...
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Funny story:  Josh Beckett Can Still Win 20 Games in 2012

Josh Beckett Can Still Win 20 Games in 2012

Can Josh Beckett still win 20 games this season for the Boston Red Sox? Could he end the season of 2012 with a record of 20-12? Panic-stricken fans in Red Sox Nation are ready to let Beckett go to the highest bidder, dismissing his career as alrea...
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