The International Olympic Committee has taken the drastic step of moving the venue of the Olympic games this year from London to Athens.
'We have been worried for some time about the bungling British apology for satisfactory preperation' said IOC President, Jacob Jumper, whilst standing in a queue at Heathrow waiting for entry into the country. 'The roads are dangerous, the trains are unbearable and now the security of the Games is at stake'.
The move to Athens comes with a 20 Billion euro loan from China, repayable with interest in Gold Medals. Russia had proposed Syria for the Games but trouble was forseen for the Marathon runners and there would be no Television allowed.
Those with tickets for the Games can use them in Athens and if this is not possible then the tickets can be used to gain entry to West Ham matches at the Olympic stadium. West Ham fans, unable to gain entry to the ground, will be able to see matches on giant screens in local parks.
David Cameron welcomed the move to Athens - 'it is our way of helping out the Greeks at this difficult time for them' he said.