Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 16 July 2012

image for In A Shocking Turn of Events: American Idol Is Losing All Three of Its Judges
The American Idol executives are looking to sign three brand new judges. (Photo by Ryan Seacrest).

HOLLYWOOD - Season 12 of American Idol is going to look a little bit different that the end of last season did.

The only recognizable person on the show will be Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest. Word out of Tinsel Town is that there are serious rumblings coming out of the shows corporate executive offices that the trio of judges will all be like that Civil War movie, Gone With The Wind.

The shows producer Bernadette Penderlicki spoke with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight and she put all of her cards (52) on the table.

She told de Gallo that 64-year-old Steven "Lips" Tyler is leaving to rejuvenate his rock and roll career with his band Aerosmith.

Ms. Penderlicki remarked that Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez, 42, is exiting the show because she wants to get back to making those fantastically hilarious movies (her words) that she was making before she joined American Idol.

J.Lo also wants to continue with her concert tours and keep on making commercials for such feminine products as Cellulite-Be-Gone Cream, Wrinkles Away Lotion, and Cleopatra's Barge Pantiliners.

She also wants to spend more time, a lot more time with her new boy-toy Caspar Smart who is 17 years younger than her and who requires a lot of attention to keep him from straying (her words again).

And Randy "The Dawg" Jackson,56, will most probably not return due to the fact that American Idol executives simply got tired of the fact that in eleven seasons "The Dawg" used the word pitchy a total of 2,629 times and the word yo a total of 4,819 times.

Jackson was also warned about not wearing his outlandish multi-colored outfits because they scare the little kids and upset the stomachs of the senior citizen viewers.

Behind-The-Scenes Talk. An inside source has stated that there are several celebrities would would love to occupy one of the judges chairs. Some of these celebs include Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen, Mariah "Da Pups" Carey, Adam "Eyeliner" Lambert, Selena "Cutey Pie" Gomez, and Gary "Mr. Hair" Busey.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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