Written by Ossurworld
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Monday, 16 July 2012

The full-page advertisement in Boston newspapers has been the best way for people to communicate when they make their way out of town.

This past weekend in July, both Ray Allen (formerly of the Boston Celtics) and Kevin Youkilis (formerly of the Boston Red Sox) have bid tearful farewells in newsprint. It's ever so much warmer than a tweet.

Allen and Youkilis had words that didn't amount to much more than 140 characters in their full page. Vocabulary is never the strong suit of strong and silent stars.

It's nice they had the extra cash laying around to pay for the full-page.

Yes, as costly as such a full-page ad may be, including a color photo, usually on the sports pages, it seems a good way to give fans some kindling on the cold winter nights that soon will be upon them.

Both Youkilis and Allen said heartfelt goodbyes to the fans and people of Boston-not to their respective former front offices.

We should like to see Danny Ainge (with the spirit of Wyc Grousbeck over his shoulder) and Ben Cherington (with the spirit of Larry Lucchino standing behind him) put his own little fare-thee-well ad into the newspapers.

It could work for both athletes: "We, ownership and management, put up with temperament, odd demands, and a sense of entitlement for years, from our departed stars. They didn't like us enough to stay and play through our season. Why can't we all just get along? If truth should be known, we really didn't want them back, despite our protestations to the contrary.

"So, we say Sayonara and give a victory sign."

On the other hand, we do not expect other players in other cities to use newspapers to herald their kind feelings for the old town team. Dwight Howard or Jeremy Lin will fly to a new coop without so much as a fanfare for a flounder.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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