There were 638 spoof news stories published in August 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Angelina Jolie Wants Custody of Michael Jackson's Kids

Angelina Jolie Wants Custody of Michael Jackson's Kids

NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie has made it known that she would like to adopt Michael Jackson's children Paris, Prince, and Blanket. Jolie and her fiancé Brad Pitt already have six children but the actress stressed that Kate Gosselin has eight and...
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Funny story: Arizona Bans The Hit Song "Call Me Maybe"

Arizona Bans The Hit Song "Call Me Maybe"

PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer acting on the advice of her good friend and political supporter Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has taken steps to issue a song band for her state. The governor recently met with Arpaio, the self-proclaimed toughest lawman...
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Funny story: Woman Delivers Triplets While Bungee Jumping

Woman Delivers Triplets While Bungee Jumping

CANON CITY, Colorado - Maddie Jo Ketzlinko, 27, and her grandmother Gretchen Batboxette, 73, were visiting the nationally famous Royal Gorge. Mrs. Ketzlinko who is 8 months, 3 weeks, and 6 days pregnant told her granny that she wanted to bungee ju...
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Funny story: Flash Mob Teens Met By Flash Mob Police Dogs

Flash Mob Teens Met By Flash Mob Police Dogs

HACKENSACK, New Jersey - A group of about 20 teenagers who went into Stefano Silvestri's Shirt Shop got the surprise of their young lives. The teens thought that they could just barge in and help themselves to whatever shirts they wanted free of c...
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Funny story: Prince Harry caught naked in showers with Usain Bolt

Prince Harry caught naked in showers with Usain Bolt

Photos emerged last night on a leading entertainment website of bonny Prince Harry completely naked in the showers with Double Double Olympic Gold medallist Insane Bolt. The Palace blocked usage of the images in local paper The Windsor Times, but...
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Funny story: Rob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange

Rob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange

The staid institution may never be the same after Tuesday's history-making event. Some onlookers reported that Pattinson, wearing a Gucci suit and sporting a rather conservative hairdo, looked more like a Wall Street executive than a vampire.
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Funny story: Black Hole Expected To Destroy Earth This Tuesday

Black Hole Expected To Destroy Earth This Tuesday

Houston, TX-- NASA scientists have just confirmed their worst fears--a black hole is heading towards Earth and will destroy it on Tuesday. NASA has alerted both the president and the United Nations, but it appears nothing can be done to stop the imp...
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Funny story: The Dallas Cowboys To Sign Olympic Champion Usain Bolt, The Fastest Man In The World

The Dallas Cowboys To Sign Olympic Champion Usain Bolt, The Fastest Man In The World

DALLAS - Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is so happy he was actually seen doing somersaults by several members of his Cowboy Stadium cleaning staff. Jones, who eats, sleeps, and drinks Cowboy blue spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated...
View 'The Dallas Cowboys To Sign Olympic Champion Usain Bolt, The Fastest Man In The World'
Funny story: Ian Somerhalder Pulls a Britney and Shaves His Head Bald

Ian Somerhalder Pulls a Britney and Shaves His Head Bald

VENICE BEACH, CA - Vampire Diaries star Ian Somerhalder has reportedly shaved his head bald according to sources close to the actor. It is not clear what may have prompted such a drastic decision on his part, but there is one demographic that is ext...
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Funny story: Yogurt Rescues the Greek Economy

Yogurt Rescues the Greek Economy

Athens - Don't stick a fork in Greece. Use a spoon instead, because the debt-riddled nation is about to emerge as Europe's economic powerhouse, thanks to booming sales of Greek yogurt. "Greek yogurt has more protein than regular yogurt. It tastes...
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Funny story: Political Facebook - President Obama and Vice-President Biden Talking About Paul Ryan

Political Facebook - President Obama and Vice-President Biden Talking About Paul Ryan

POLITICAL FACEBOOK President Obama: Hey Joey, did you see who "Old Mittens" finally picked to be his vice-presidential running mate? 8:01 a.m. Vice-President Biden: Yeah Barry, I just heard about it on CNN. And let me say that today is our lucky day. 8:05 a.m. President Obama: You got that right bud. Paul Ryan? Can you believe that out of all of the fairly good choices the old Mormon ha...
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Funny story: Facebook Opens Doorway Into The Afterlife

Facebook Opens Doorway Into The Afterlife

New York, NY-- The creators of Facebook may have accidentally solved one of mankind's greatest riddle--is there life after death. Many recently deceased Facebook users can still play games, post photos, and respond to messages from friends. Faceboo...
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Funny story: Facebook Fan Surprised To Learn She Doesn't Exist

Facebook Fan Surprised To Learn She Doesn't Exist

Philadelphia, PA-- Miss Vicky Smegma is a daily user of Facebook and has about 200 Facebook friends. Today she received a puzzling e-mail from Facebook: Dear Ms. Smegma, Our records show you don't exist. Your account is being closed. If you...
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Funny story: Mars Rover Transmits Photos of Martians Having Orgies

Mars Rover Transmits Photos of Martians Having Orgies

No wonder the rover is called Curiosity! NASA was delighted to receive the racy photos, with one official proclaiming, "Some folks think this outer space stuff is just dull science. Wait till they get a peek at these eye-popping photos. Whoopee!...
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Funny story: Clint Eastwood's GOP Convention Speech Helped President Obama

Clint Eastwood's GOP Convention Speech Helped President Obama

TAMPA - Clint Eastwood showed everyone at the Republican National Convention and millions of television viewers that he may be a legendary Hollywood icon, but he sure ain't no political speaker. The man who starred in The Good, The Bad, and The Ug...
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Funny story: Lance Armstrong announces new challenge after doping charges

Lance Armstrong announces new challenge after doping charges

Seven times Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong today addressed the media for the first time since revealing he will not fight the doping charges brought against him by the USADA (US Anti-Doping Agency), and instead he will actually be cycling to t...
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Funny story: Russell Brand Says He Misses Ex-Girlfriend Kate Gosselin's 8 Kids

Russell Brand Says He Misses Ex-Girlfriend Kate Gosselin's 8 Kids

LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand called up Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors and told her that he wants her to let everyone know that he is sorry and really regrets his little recent indiscretion with Kat Von D. He stated that he had no idea that it would...
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Funny story: TMZ website shows proof that Prince Harry has a red star tattooed on his rear

TMZ website shows proof that Prince Harry has a red star tattooed on his rear

The latest snaps of Prince Harry in his hotel suite in Las Vegas have been published on the TMZ website, and show that he sports a bright red star tattoo on his backside. The significance of the tattoo is not known for sure, but that has not stopp...
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Funny story: Derek Hough Denies The Gay Rumors

Derek Hough Denies The Gay Rumors

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough has said that ever since he started dancing at a very young age people have naturally assumed that he rode sidesaddle. He says that nothing could be farther from the truth. The Dancing With The Stars...
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Funny story: Nightsticks vs Vibrators: NYPD Cracks Down on Dildo Dealers

Nightsticks vs Vibrators: NYPD Cracks Down on Dildo Dealers

New York - A mixed squad of undercover and uniformed police has broken up "a sex ring" that was attempting to distribute "vibrating devices" in "broad daylight" at locations in Rockefeller Center and the Meatpacking District. The disrupted giveawa...
View 'Nightsticks vs Vibrators: NYPD Cracks Down on Dildo Dealers'
Funny story: London Olympics: More than half athletes warned for supernatural doping

London Olympics: More than half athletes warned for supernatural doping

Warnings have been issued to more than half of all athletes competing at the London Olympic Games for exploiting supernatural performance enhancing stimulants. Last July, the act of "Asking God for divine intervention" was added to the list of pr...
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Funny story: Curiosity Rover Discovers The Bong On Mars

Curiosity Rover Discovers The Bong On Mars

Houston, TX-- The Curiosity rover exploring Mars has spotted something completely unexpected. The rover spotted a bong standing up on a rock with a little bit of gray smoke coming out of it and something burning in the bowl. Scientists at the Johns...
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Funny story: Gigantic Bulls-eye Appears On The Sun

Gigantic Bulls-eye Appears On The Sun

Houston, TX-- NASA astronomers are unable to explain an alarming new mark on the face of the sun. A perfectly symmetrical bulls-eye has developed on the sun in the last three days. No one seems to know what it is. Astronomers first thought the b...
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Funny story: Hope Solo Says Maksim Chmerkovskiy Angrily Bit Her Toes

Hope Solo Says Maksim Chmerkovskiy Angrily Bit Her Toes

NEW YORK CITY - U.S. Women's Olympic Team goalie Hope Solo was in the "Big Apple" on a book signing tour of her new book Goooooooalllll! - The Hope Solo Memoirs. She was asked by Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily about a chapter in th...
View 'Hope Solo Says Maksim Chmerkovskiy Angrily Bit Her Toes'
Funny story: Anger As Pussy Riot Vatican Gig Cancelled

Anger As Pussy Riot Vatican Gig Cancelled

There was anger and condemnation today from the Vatican, over the jailing of little known punk band Pussy Riot in Russia. The group was booked to play at the Popes 'Jesus Rocks' benefit concert next weekend, but the sentencing of the ladies in Mos...
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Funny story: Russell Brand Caught Tongue Wrestling With Kat Von D

Russell Brand Caught Tongue Wrestling With Kat Von D

HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand is reportedly still upset that he was not invited to be a special guest of Queen Elizabeth II, during the Summer Olympics in London. Prior to the Olympics, Brand had bragged to his girlfriend Kate Gosselin that he was cer...
View 'Russell Brand Caught Tongue Wrestling With Kat Von D'
Funny story: Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Peta Murgatroyd May Leave Dancing With The Stars

Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Peta Murgatroyd May Leave Dancing With The Stars

HOLLYWOOD - One of the most popular professional dancers on the hit reality dance show Dancing With The Stars has dropped a hint as to his future. Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who is known as the "Bad Boy of The Ballroom" mentioned to Tahiti Zeppelin with...
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Funny story: Romney reveals more Bain Capital 'lessons for success'

Romney reveals more Bain Capital 'lessons for success'

New York - Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney says he ran out of room in a recent Wall Street Journal article in which he attempted to connect his business experience at Bain Capital with the qualities he would need to be a good president.
View 'Romney reveals more Bain Capital 'lessons for success''
Funny story: Lance Armstrong never took drugs, just performance enhancers!

Lance Armstrong never took drugs, just performance enhancers!

Lance Armstrong has called the rumours surrounding his so-called drug taking during the Tour De France as complete and utter nonsense! But he does admit to taking perfomance enhancers before the Tour and during it too and these are certainly not drug...
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Funny story: A Series of Truly Disgusting, Sexually Explicit Jokes for Children With a Low Reading Age

A Series of Truly Disgusting, Sexually Explicit Jokes for Children With a Low Reading Age

Following the news of the decline in the number of pass grades in English Literature, the Stoodents Younion of Grate Britten have commissioned a re-print of the Blyton Book of Smut for distribution to all state schools. The following jokes are a random sample taken from it: A lady goes to the Police Station. "Can I help you?" says the policeman. "I hope so" says the lady. "You see, a man has...
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Funny story: Spoof Horoscopes for September 2012

Spoof Horoscopes for September 2012

Aries March 21st - April 19th Your must win at any cost attitude must be kerbed this September, for the sake of the less violent people around you, and to help prevent the high risk levels from the 4th to the 11th, of your making yourself look a bigger prat than usual. Especially if fail to think before talking! Your silent but deadly passing of wind, will reach new heights around the 14th,...
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Funny story: Nude Photos Of Prince Harry With Elderly Spinster To Be Published

Nude Photos Of Prince Harry With Elderly Spinster To Be Published

Las Vegas, NV-- Dozens of photos of Prince Harry doing the hokey-pokey with an ugly, aged spinster are expected to be published by the end of this week. Torrid photos of the prince with a Miss Vicky Smegma of Philadelphia should be enough to get Pri...
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Funny story: Hank Williams Jr. Writes A Country Song About Randy Travis

Hank Williams Jr. Writes A Country Song About Randy Travis

NASHVILLE - Hank Williams Jr., is no stranger when it comes to the world of drinking. In fact, during his career he has been named Country Music's Drinkingest Singer four times by the highly respected Country Sounds Coalition Federation based in Toad...
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Funny story: SAS to parachute Queen into Grimsby euthanasia clinic on Wednesday

SAS to parachute Queen into Grimsby euthanasia clinic on Wednesday

Balmoral Castle, Scotland - A crack team from the Special Astrological Service in charge of stars' and celebs' security is behind the move amid unprecedented planetary alignments. These show a celestial Grand Cross forming in the zodiac's cardinal...
View 'SAS to parachute Queen into Grimsby euthanasia clinic on Wednesday'
Funny story: Lou Reed names Joe 'Take A Walk On The Wild Side' Biden as inspiration behind smash hit single

Lou Reed names Joe 'Take A Walk On The Wild Side' Biden as inspiration behind smash hit single

New York - Decades after hinting heavily that Warhol superstar Joe Dallesandro was the muse behind the 1978 Live: Take No Prisoners album single the truth is finally out. At a press conference in New York today hosted by Cattle Rustler News magazi...
View 'Lou Reed names Joe 'Take A Walk On The Wild Side' Biden as inspiration behind smash hit single'
Funny story: It's Official: Live With Kelly & Michael

It's Official: Live With Kelly & Michael

NEW YORK CITY - After what seemed like a year and hundreds of guest hosts, the executives of Live With Kelly have finally picked a replacement for Regis Philbin. They pointed out that contrary to dozens of rumors Philbin was not let go because he...
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Funny story: DHS Labels Chicken Fillet Outlet Supporters As Terrorists, Vows Revenge

DHS Labels Chicken Fillet Outlet Supporters As Terrorists, Vows Revenge

Washington, DC-- The Department of Homeland Sissies considers all supporters of a fast-food chicken outlet (which specializes in cooking up the the fillet real nice) as dangerous to America and plans to punish them. Hundreds of thousands of citizens...
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Funny story: Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Are Asked About Kristen Stewart

Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Are Asked About Kristen Stewart

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico - The stars of The Vampire Diaries, Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev were in Albuquerque on a stop on their promotional tour for their hit show. The two stars, who are also dating, appeared before a crowd of 900 cheering New...
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Funny story: Paul Ryan to Seniors: Please Drop Dead

Paul Ryan to Seniors: Please Drop Dead

Arlington National Cemetery - The Republican's newly named vice presidential nominee has some patriotic advice for America's elderly. He'd like them to stop breathing. Introducing his Medicare cutback program at a graveside press conference, Rep.
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Funny story: London Olympics Voted Best Ever!

London Olympics Voted Best Ever!

London, England-- Although they haven't ended yet, the 2012 Olympic Games in London seem destined to go down in history as the best! Everyone seems to agree there are three things that make it the most beloved Olympics ever--the weather, the food, a...
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Funny story: Bwahaha! Diana's ghost is stalking me wails the Queen

Bwahaha! Diana's ghost is stalking me wails the Queen

London - Someone has told her that Friday's 15th anniversary of Princess Diana's death 'will be a double whammy' in royal RIP terms. And that the day's Full Moon is a portent of HM's own demise. "Bloody stuff and nonsense if you ask me," Prince...
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Funny story: A Heartbroken Kristen Stewart Flies Down To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

A Heartbroken Kristen Stewart Flies Down To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Mexico's national news agency, Las Maracas is reporting that Twilight actress Kristen Stewart is staying at the luxurious Puffy Taco Resort & Casino. The establishment which is co-owned by Ryan Seacrest and Steven Tyle...
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Funny story: Early Humans Were Chinese, Scientists Find

Early Humans Were Chinese, Scientists Find

BEIJING, China - Researchers found that human ancestors, although all originating from Africa, were Chinese. A three-month study by the Scientific Research Center of the State Council (SRC) defied the conventional assumption that having ancestral...
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Funny story: Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski To Star In "Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Werewolves of Walla Walla

Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski To Star In "Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Werewolves of Walla Walla

HOLLYWOOD - Noted Australian director Kittles McLeavenworth has just announced that Paul Hogan and his wife Linda Kozlowski will be appearing in the film Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Werewolves of Walla Walla. The movie will be the sixth installment i...
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Funny story: Rob Pattinson and Selena Gomez To Star In The Zombie Thriller "Call Me Maybe"

Rob Pattinson and Selena Gomez To Star In The Zombie Thriller "Call Me Maybe"

HOLLYWOOD - Rob Pattinson recently told a reporter with Bedroom Pillow Talk that he has just signed on to star in Tico Scallavini's zombie epic Call Me Maybe. Pattinson told BPT's Carolina Chipotle that he has to do something to take his mind off...
View 'Rob Pattinson and Selena Gomez To Star In The Zombie Thriller "Call Me Maybe"'
Funny story: Kim Kardashian Spotted by Google Earth Near Lost Pyramids

Kim Kardashian Spotted by Google Earth Near Lost Pyramids

Researchers using Google Earth were amazed recently when they discovered some "lost" pyramids in Egypt. Amazement turned to complete shock when they spotted a beautiful woman near the entrance of one of the pyramids. The woman had long black ha...
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Funny story: 10 Product Spin-Offs That Failed

10 Product Spin-Offs That Failed

Every year hundreds of corporations throughout the United States spend millions of dollars trying to capitalize on already existing products in the hopes that they will be as successful as the originals. And every now and then some of these consumer product spin-offs make it and they are wholeheartedly accepted and embraced by the American buying public. But sad to say, most of the times the...
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Funny story: Lamb to the slaughter as Murray faces Federer in Gold Medal showdown

Lamb to the slaughter as Murray faces Federer in Gold Medal showdown

London - A repeat performance of this year's Wimbledon Men's Finals pitches the desperate Scots wannabe against the ball-crushing maestro of Grand Slam supremacy. "Yeah, he'll get his ass kicked in two straight sets," Rafael Nadal's tarot card rea...
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Funny story: Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev To Star In "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev To Star In "Fifty Shades of Grey"

HOLLYWOOD - The Bedroom Pillow Talk Entertainment News Agency has just announced that Pipe Dream Films has acquired the movie rights to the E.L. James novel Fifty Shades of Grey. The erotic book has already sold 32 million copies world wide includ...
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Funny story: Political Facebook - Ann Romney and Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Political Facebook - Ann Romney and Elisabeth Hasselbeck

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Hello Ann. Are you there? 9:01 a.m. Ann Romney: Yes, I'm here. How are ya Lizzy? 9:04 a.m. Elisabeth Hasselbeck: I'm great. And girlfriend let me say that I watched your GOP National Convention speech and you did fantastic. 9:09 a.m. Ann Romney: Thanks Lizzy. You don't think that I over did the color red do you? 9:12 a.m. Elisabeth Hassel...
View 'Political Facebook - Ann Romney and Elisabeth Hasselbeck'
Funny story: Homeless Martians greet US robot and beg for food!

Homeless Martians greet US robot and beg for food!

The US robot, Curiosity, that landed safely on Mars and cost the US tax-payer $2,5 billion dollars had a strange encounter of the third kind! Curious Martians approached the craft with begging bowls in their hands thinking that the "Messiah Mc Do...
View 'Homeless Martians greet US robot and beg for food!'
Funny story: Facebook Down To Final User

Facebook Down To Final User

New York, NY-- Once there were billions, but now there is only one. It seems like everyone has finally ditched Facebook, except for one last person--a pathetic 81 year-old virgin named Miss Vicky Smegma. "Where did everybody go!" said the clueles...
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Funny story: Big Head on the Mountain

Big Head on the Mountain

The gears of their well-worn Chinese-made Schwinns were grinding as Dante and his kid sister Uma rounded a steep curve on a wilderness trail in the Black Hills. A gap in the forest foliage gave them a direct view of the mountain known as Rushmore, and they squeezed their handbrakes and came to an abrupt stop, as if the awesome sight before them was the visual equivalent of a roadblock. "Wow,"...
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Funny story: Obama Apologises For America Winning 46 Gold Medals

Obama Apologises For America Winning 46 Gold Medals

Washington, DC-- President Obama has sent a letter of apology to dozens of world leaders. He wanted to apologise for the United States winning the most gold medals at the 2012 Olympics. The letter read in part: ...and I want to once again apolog...
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Funny story: Paul Ryan rumbled as Bill Clinton's bastard son

Paul Ryan rumbled as Bill Clinton's bastard son

Tampa, Florida - A UN Security Council 'NOC-list' of undesirables confirms what those Dumbo-esque ears and rictus grin have hinted at for decades. "We have established that Paul Ryan is Clinton's bastard spawn," a spokesperson for Ban Ki-Moon's Ta...
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Funny story: Minneapolis Solves Its Unemployment Problem

Minneapolis Solves Its Unemployment Problem

MINNEAPOLIS - The city council of Minneapolis, Minnesota has just announced that it has reduced the town's unemployment percent all the way down to zero. Council member Delta Joan Muscaretello spoke with an assembled throng of reporters and she re...
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Funny story: Elvis Presley's Death 35 Years Ago Noted by Purring Elephants

Elvis Presley's Death 35 Years Ago Noted by Purring Elephants

If you thought that cats are the only animals that purr, think again. Researchers have recently reported that elephants purr too. See "The Mystery of the Purring Elephant" by Veronique Greenwood in TIME.com (August 3, 2012). A Spoof reporter who...
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Funny story: Human exhalations melting ice on moons of Jupiter and Saturn

Human exhalations melting ice on moons of Jupiter and Saturn

Munich, Germany - Scientists here, not of the Nazi Party, have determined that human exhalations are releasing gasses that are escaping to outer space, traveling to the Sun, falling into the Sun, causing it to get hotter, and causing ice on the moons...
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Funny story: Curiosity Rover Discovers Music On Mars

Curiosity Rover Discovers Music On Mars

Houston, TX-- NASA is reporting this morning something unusual from Mars--music is playing there. NASA's recently landed Curiosity Rover has picked up the sounds of dozens of songs in the thin martian atmosphere. The discovery is completely unexpec...
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Funny story: Curiosity on Mars didn't kill the cat, it zapped a Martian $2,5 billion rock!

Curiosity on Mars didn't kill the cat, it zapped a Martian $2,5 billion rock!

Sensational photos coming back from Mars have proven that "Curiosity" doesn't only kill cats; it zaps Martian stones too! Scientists at NASA were wetting their pants as these historic photos reached their computer screens. They fell into each othe...
View 'Curiosity on Mars didn't kill the cat, it zapped a Martian $2,5 billion rock!'
Funny story: Dallas cowboys told Salvator Mundi is not for sale

Dallas cowboys told Salvator Mundi is not for sale

Texas - The reported $192 million 'transfer fee' targeting a reclusive Lily Pond Lane, East Hampton art buff has been rubbished as wildly optimistic pie-in-the-sky. Leonardo Da Vinci's fabulous Salvator Mundi dazzled the art world at London's Roya...
View 'Dallas cowboys told Salvator Mundi is not for sale'
Funny story: NATO silent as Democrat Party Internal Affairs meets in secret conclave to oust Obama

NATO silent as Democrat Party Internal Affairs meets in secret conclave to oust Obama

Long Island - It's been likened to Captain Jean-Luc Picard's Redemption directive of non-involvement in Klingon High Council secret ops to oust a tricky Romulan impostor. This weekend a cabal of Dem oil and gas tycoons meeting at The Hamptons' ver...
View 'NATO silent as Democrat Party Internal Affairs meets in secret conclave to oust Obama'
Funny story: Queen's mental decline blamed on bong hit decades

Queen's mental decline blamed on bong hit decades

London - Mental slippage and cognitive retardation have wreaked havoc on HM's sunset years after decades Commonwealth ganja dependence a royal source said today. Palace quacks' insistence on bleeding her with leeches first identified the scale of...
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Funny story: Kate Gosselin Dumps Russell Brand

Kate Gosselin Dumps Russell Brand

READING, Pennsylvania - The woman who is employed as Kate Gosselin's nanny Mindy Lulu Lickenfeister has stated that Kate is devastated at boyfriend Russell Brand's infidelity. Gosselin, 37, was told by a close friend that iRumors reporter Taffeta...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Photo Surfaces, Intended For Boyfriends Eyes Only, Paris Hilton Manipulation?

Miley Cyrus Photo Surfaces, Intended For Boyfriends Eyes Only, Paris Hilton Manipulation?

Miley Cyrus has obviously enlisted The Paris Hilton Agency, the agency that keeps Hollywood trailer trashers in the spotlight. As I've reported repeatedly, Paris Hilton has opened a agency that keeps attention whores in the spotlight, Kim Kardash...
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Funny story: Wiccans warn Barack about Friday's Blue Fool Moon

Wiccans warn Barack about Friday's Blue Fool Moon

New York - The Carnegie Hill chapter of Filthy Rich Pagans Anonymous is right up Barry's ass over Friday's lunation according to a new hex-messaging service launched today. A rare and stunning second August Full Moon lights up the heavens in that...
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Funny story: Latest NASA blockbuster a flop!

Latest NASA blockbuster a flop!

Box office records for the latest NASA blockbuster based on an unmanned landing on planet Mars have proved disappointing. Filmed at the massive open air studio known as 'Area 51', the latest would be blockbuster was shot in the barren desert there...
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Funny story: Katy Perry Exposes Her Bare Butt At Water Park

Katy Perry Exposes Her Bare Butt At Water Park

Katy Perry has enlisted in the Paris Hilton Agencies growing roster of celebrity clients. Any time there is blatant exploitation of a celebutant you have to start thinking, is this a Paris Hilton media manipulation? Paris was behind the Lin...
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Funny story: Peacock on the Prowl in Queens, NY

Peacock on the Prowl in Queens, NY

Yep, there he was, strutting around, proud as a ... well, you know. Queens residents weren't pleased. "There goes the neighborhood," one was heard to remark. Apparently the peacock "escaped" from a local high school agricultural program. He makes no apologies for his flight to freedom. A Spoof reporter who knows peacock prose interviewed her subject in a Queens park. She said tha...
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Funny story: Prince Harry To Appear In The Spy Porn Film The Red Star Diaries

Prince Harry To Appear In The Spy Porn Film The Red Star Diaries

HOLLYWOOD - Gladiator Films in association with Left Coast Libido Pictures is currently in talks to sign England's Prince Harry to appear in the motion picture The Red Star Diaries. The porn film will be directed by Gunther Krottentokker and will...
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Funny story: Randy Travis - Arrested Again!

Randy Travis - Arrested Again!

GRAYSON COUNTY, Texas - It appears that country singer Randy Travis not only sings down and out country music songs, but he is now actually starting to live them out. The 53-year-old crooner has just been arrested for a second time this year.
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Funny story: Black gymnast Gabby Douglas stripped of gold medal!

Black gymnast Gabby Douglas stripped of gold medal!

LONDON -- Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas has been stripped of her gold medal at the 2012 Olympic Games for "not using one's black affiliation to win a match." "Upon further review of the video footage," official Suchet Zwambi said, "we determined t...
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Funny story: 'Who Told You I Am Bill Clinton's Daughter?' Kristen Stewart livid at rumor mill

'Who Told You I Am Bill Clinton's Daughter?' Kristen Stewart livid at rumor mill

Los Angeles - A celebwatch site is sticking to its guns today after posting 'conclusive evidence' of the former President's paternity of Twilight Saga actress Kristen Stewart. Some hysterical squabs - er...historical swabs! - which vanished myster...
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Funny story: Lance Armstrong's seven Tour de France titles go on sale

Lance Armstrong's seven Tour de France titles go on sale

In a stunning announcement last Thursday, the famed cyclist Lance Armstrong said he was selling his seven Tour de France titles. The titles will go on sale next week, but they most likely won't be available to the fans. All Tour de France runner-...
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Funny story: Kangaroo Closes Heathrow For 2 Hours!

Kangaroo Closes Heathrow For 2 Hours!

Heathrow Airport had to be closed to air traffic for two hour this morning when a kangaroo decided to take a hop along a runway Having just arrived on the scheduled Australia Airlines flight from Sydney the marsupial then escaped down to the tarma...
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Funny story: Pedometer Sales Soar After Penn State Scandal

Pedometer Sales Soar After Penn State Scandal

Yoo Hoo,Pa.-Fraceme Pedometer Manufacturing company isn't so sleepy anymore. The tiny Pennsylvania based company was just trudging along, making the same old easy-to-read pedometers walkers use to measure their walking distance each day, when an inte...
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Funny story: Kate Gosselin Wants To Adopt Little Honey Boo Boo

Kate Gosselin Wants To Adopt Little Honey Boo Boo

READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin recently dumped her boyfriend Russell Brand and she's stated that her main focus right now, other than her children, is on getting another reality show. Gosselin told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle th...
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Funny story: GB Olympic Team In Shreds After Queen's Drug Test Shock

GB Olympic Team In Shreds After Queen's Drug Test Shock

The Great Britain Olympic team was said to be "in tatters" this morning after news emerged that the result of a random drugs test carried out on Her Majesty the Queen after Her opening ceremony parachute jump, had turned out positive. The Queen co...
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Funny story: 99% of tabloids' royal family bollocks sourced to bigamist Camilla

99% of tabloids' royal family bollocks sourced to bigamist Camilla

London - Cringe-making stories about royal humbug are being lapped up by red tops deprived of phone-hacked stuff. And most of the rubbish is coming from Camilla, doyenne of Palace bollocks and other unsavory crap. At an editorial meeting of QM-...
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Funny story: Good Bad Girl Kristen Stewart Lands Prized Sandy Role in Upcoming Grease Redux

Good Bad Girl Kristen Stewart Lands Prized Sandy Role in Upcoming Grease Redux

Hollywood Insighter - In a clear case of serendipitous Hollywood karma Universal Studios revealed today that it will be paparazzi-plagued, good-girl-gone-bad with the heart of gold, Kirsten Stewart, that will be given the coveted role of Sandy Olsson...
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Funny story: Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

NEW YORK, New York - U.S. and European stocks advanced as world leaders decided on Monday to cancel all world debts to start economies over with a clean slate. The concept of countries cancelling their world debt has been popular among those who s...
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Funny story: Adult acne and homeless cat problems solved

Adult acne and homeless cat problems solved

A new study by the Cornell University, School of Medicine, Dermatology Department has seemed to have made significant strides in alleviating two problems that have appeared unrelated up till now. It has been discovered that cat saliva may have a c...
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Funny story: Scotland Wants Own Olympic Team

Scotland Wants Own Olympic Team

Scotland's outspoken and opinionated First Minister, Alex Salmond, has courted controversy by insisting Scotland will field its own Olympic team at the 2016 Rio Games. Salmond, who is convinced Scotland will have departed the UK by 2016, has insis...
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Funny story: Kenyan Police Scale Down Hunt For Rogue Essex Girl

Kenyan Police Scale Down Hunt For Rogue Essex Girl

Masai Mara National Park, Kenya: Kenyan police chief, Moses Mbegwe announced this evening that the Kenyan police are scaling down their hunt for a rogue Essex girl, who was reportedly sighted lurking in the long grass, here in the Masai Mara National...
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Funny story: The "Queen of Porn Films" Jenna Jameson Endorses Mitt Romney

The "Queen of Porn Films" Jenna Jameson Endorses Mitt Romney

SAN FRANCISCO - The woman who is considered to be "The Queen of Porn" was sitting in a booth at San Francisco's infamous Booby Trap Strip Lounge. Jenna Jameson, who has appeared in 162 porn films, including www.GSpot.hot, iBox, and Cinderella's Sa...
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Funny story: Tiddlywinks to become an Olympic sport in 2016!

Tiddlywinks to become an Olympic sport in 2016!

The IOC have confirmed the fact that Tiddlywinks, Snakes & Ladders, Ludo & Scrabble will all become Olympic sports in 2016. Scrabble seems to be a slight problem because of the language barrier, but as usual Seb Coe got his way and forced to...
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Funny story: Thanks To Her Bare Bottom Photo, Katy Perry Has Received 873 Marriage Proposals

Thanks To Her Bare Bottom Photo, Katy Perry Has Received 873 Marriage Proposals

LOS ANGELES - Ryan Seacrest has just remarked on his L.A. radio show that he thinks that Katy Perry may just have broken the record for the most marriage proposals in 48 hours. He disclosed that he had spoken with the ex-Mrs. Russell Brand and she...
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Funny story: New York Mets take away 11 'positives' from the 2012 season

New York Mets take away 11 'positives' from the 2012 season

New York - With their season running off the rails, the New York Mets have already started to take a look back at the year to see what positives can be salvaged from the train wreck. They found 11: 1. The plan to add performance enhancing drugs to the hotdogs at Citi Field has been successful. Mets fans are singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" much more enthusiastically. 2. The sawdust in...
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Funny story: Madonna Wants To Adopt Snooki's Baby

Madonna Wants To Adopt Snooki's Baby

NEW YORK CITY - Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, star of The Jersey Shore just gave birth to a 6-pound-5-ounce baby boy who she named Lorenzo Domino Pizza LaValle. Snooki said that little Domino, as she plans to call him, shot right out of her like a gaze...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Upset At GOP Convention Snub - Says She May Just Vote For President Obama

Sarah Palin Upset At GOP Convention Snub - Says She May Just Vote For President Obama

WASILLA, Alaska - Reports out of Alaska state that Sarah "Snowflake" Palin is one very angry white wilderness woman. Political Salad Bar Magazine has confirmed that the former governor of the Iceberg State and failed 2008 GOP Vice-Presidential can...
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Funny story: Mars Rover Curiosity Lands Safely on Mars before Sinking in Quicksand

Mars Rover Curiosity Lands Safely on Mars before Sinking in Quicksand

The NASA robot dubbed "Curiosity" landed safely on Mars Sunday night smack dab in the middle of a deep pit of quicksand and sunk before any useful data could be collected. Curiosity, the largest and most advanced spacecraft ever sent to another pl...
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Funny story: Prince Philip Funeral Plans Found In Gents Toilet On Hampstead Heath

Prince Philip Funeral Plans Found In Gents Toilet On Hampstead Heath

Draft plans for the funeral of Prince Philip have been found stuffed behind a toilet cistern in a gentlemen's toilet on Hampstead Heath. How the documents came to be there remains a mystery. The documents were found by a local kebab shop owner, Ge...
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Funny story: Akin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'

Akin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'

Washington DC - Rep. Todd Akin's recent comments about rape and abortion indicate that he is better suited for long-term stay in a psychiatric ward than he is for a Senate seat. Specifically, he told a television interviewer that in cases of "legi...
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Funny story: Akin: Woman's Body Armor Thwarts Rape Pregnancy with Tricks -- Sperm "Won't Ask for Help or Directions"

Akin: Woman's Body Armor Thwarts Rape Pregnancy with Tricks -- Sperm "Won't Ask for Help or Directions"

On the heels of his comment that "legitimate" rape is "really rare" and that "the woman's body has ways to shut that whole thing down," U.S. House Science Committee member Representative Todd Akin(R-MO)schooled newsmen today using the same sex educat...
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Funny story: Massive Full Moon tremor scuppers Kate and Wiliam Far East freebie

Massive Full Moon tremor scuppers Kate and Wiliam Far East freebie

Philippines - The 7.9-magnitude quake off Samar Island struck early this morning just as the Pisces Full Moon was waxing into maximum display. Its aftershocks have rattled Kate and William's Far East holiday plans for yet another taxpayer-funded f...
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Funny story: Amazing Gold for Team GB!

Amazing Gold for Team GB!

The Stadium at the Olympic Velodrome erupted in ecstatic cries of Land of Hope & Glory as Stephen Mole, 12, won an amazing Gold in Tiddlywinks. Mole exclaimed that his feat was 'Unbelievable'. Proud parents Oliver and Augusta Mole, speaking fr...
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Funny story: Romney's Lip-Smacking is Kiss of Death to Obama Campaign

Romney's Lip-Smacking is Kiss of Death to Obama Campaign

Iowa: This week, Mitt Romney was once again seen tediously presenting his black/white/up/down ideas on the future of America to a bunch of Iowa hayseeds, while he cleverly unveiled his latest weapon in an increasingly nasty campaign: Tardive Dyskines...
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Funny story: Sun newspaper front page pic of nude Prince Harry is gift to Wendi Deng

Sun newspaper front page pic of nude Prince Harry is gift to Wendi Deng

Wapping insiders claimed today that the front page picture of Prince Harry almost 'koo' starkers was a birthday present from Rupert Murdoch to his heroic wife, Wendi Deng. Deng shot to worldwide fame in 2011 when attacking Johnnie Marbles Kung-Fu...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Unhappy At Haircut Criticism

Miley Cyrus Unhappy At Haircut Criticism

MARINA DEL REY, California - Miley Cyrus and her fiancé Liam Hemsworth were seen having dinner at The Red Glowing Crab Seafood Diner in Marina Del Rey. Cyrus who just recently had the hair stylist to the stars FuFi Fondue cut off her hair and dye...
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Funny story: Michelle "The First Mama" Obama Picked Up By Olympic Lady Wrestler

Michelle "The First Mama" Obama Picked Up By Olympic Lady Wrestler

LONDON - America's First Lady, Michelle Obama could very well be the most popular American in London, no matter what Bob Costas or Matt Lauer may think. On Sunday merry Michelle hugged every single member of the United States men's basketball team...
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