ABERDEEN, South Dakota - Mitt Romney's campaign staff has urged him to hurry up and pick a vice-presidential running mate so that a lot of the focus and pressure can be taken off of him and placed on his choice for GOP running mate.
A source within the Romney campaign informed GOPicky Magazine that Senator Romney is presently considering several Republican politicos including Governor Chris Christie (of New Jersey), GOP mouthpiece Ann "Trigger" Coulter, Rob Portman (?), Paul Ryan (?), Humberto Quakermucker (??), and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.
Louisiana Governor Bobby "The Gator Guy" Jindal has asked that his name not be considered for the second slot on the GOP ticket because if he can't be at the top of the ticket then he'll just stay down in the Bayou State and not wander too far away from his beloved Cajun food, Creole food, and Tabasco Sauce.
Three of Romney's top four campaign aides have suggested that his best bet would be to pick Condoleezza Rice since everyone has heard of the name Rice.
Bilbo E. Spooncutt, 43, a Romney senior aide, stated that Rice would make a great choice for several reasons. One, she is a female. Two, she is an African-American female. Three, she is a single, African-American female. And four she is prettier than all of the other vice-presidential choices with the one possible exception of Humberto "Enrique Iglesias" Quakermucker.
In Related News. Ann Coulter recently told Savannah Bamboo with Political Salad Bar Magazine that she loves to argue like hell and she would make a great vice-presidential choice since she would greatly welcome getting into extremely heated, expletive-spewing debates with Vice-President Joe "The Hamburger Dude" Biden.