The embarassing boyish bum fluff in finally beginning to disappear from that delicate soft skinned chin to be replaced by a more darker stiffer growth of hair. He's secretly hoping this welcome change will make him appear more manly, like his former good friend, David...Joke of the sick variety.
The deputy leader has been seen regularly scuttling into a House of Commons lavatory (gents of course) clutching a small cylindrical object.Presumably a battery powered electric razor. This observation has been partly verified by a familiar buzzing sound emanating from his securely locked cubicle. However, rumour has it that his perrenial piles have been playing up again, so he need not necessarily have been using an electric razor, leading to wild speculations.
We will be sending in our intrepid weeky leeks reporter to find out exactly what it is that Cleggy takes to the lavatory. He is after all a former public schoolboy and scoutmaster so don't be surprised by the result.
Please let us hear no more Cammy and Cleggy jokes becuase the wedding is most definitely off and the homeymoon cruise to the Bahamas is cancelled. So the poor overburdened taxpayers can all breathe a sigh of relief at the saving of more public money. Apart from those gullible bloody cockney ratepayers, who will have to foot the bill for the Olympics for the next twenty-five years until the debt is paid off in full.