World Leaders Try to Lose Disruptive Trump at G-7 Summit
Biarritz, France Tired of having President Trump interrupt all the other delegates, and talk for hours about himself and his "accomplishments," the rest of the G-7 delegates met at an unknown location to talk, without telling Trump where they would...Read full story
Trump Insists That the Next G7 Conference Be Held at His Place
Biarritz, France In an announcement that surprised no one, President Donald Trump wants to hold next year's conference at one of his clubs in Florida. "Everyone will be happy. We have waiters that don't bathe to wait on the French, we've got spott...Read full story
15 Year-Old French Girl Gets Book Published: Writers Commit Mass Suicide
New York -- Flavia Bujor, a 15 year old girl from Paris, France became a published author this past week, sparking a wave of mass-suicides among writers across the globe.Read full story
Kate's Breasts Could Kick Start Your Day Too
Following the inevitable global exposure of the future Queen of England's pert breasts by the French paparazzi, Buckingham Palace has gone on the offensive and has threatened legal action against any party who publishes the offending photos, or who u...Read full story
Quel Surprise! France announces a complete ban of sexist and homophobic comments.
Paris, France - In an extraordinary turn of events, France's National Assembly, not content with making sexist and homophobic remarks illegal, has now banned the use of stereotypes as well.Read full story
Stiletto Heels were invented for men!
Historians working at Cambridge University have discovered the origins of the stiletto heel, or court shoe, whilst trawling through cobbling records from seventeenth century France. "Many people think that court shoes are so called because they ar...Read full story
St Cullottes slams poverty critics
French President Knickerless St Cullottes today angrily rejected claims he was not doing enough for poverty in France. ''I have done more to increase poverty than any other president'' he claimed after distributing a fact dossier to assembled journal...Read full story
Mime Flu Hits France
There is panic in the streets of Paris this morning as an epidemic of Mime Flu has hit the country most famous for it's legendary mimes. "It's hit us with the suddenly" stated one man who agreed to talk with us through his mask. "We got up this mo...Read full story
Catholic Church Plans Bring-And-Buy Sales To Raise Money For Notre-Dame Repairs
After the horrendous events of last weekend, when the 850-year-old Notre-Dame cathedral in Paris was severely damaged by fire, the Catholic church has announced several money-raising schemes to pay for its repair. The fire caused damage estimated...Read full story
Sarkozy lost because he preferred German black bread to baguettes!
The French presidential election has ended with the French going slightly left instead of right causing quite an upset amongst its European neighbours. Sarkozy admitted defeat gracefully to his opponent, Hollanda (Who's actually Double Dutch), apo...Read full story
Ryan Seacrest Has Found Himself A Stunning New Girlfriend Who Simply Oozes Feminine Sexuality
LOS ANGELES - Ryan Seacrest the host of American Idol is one happy as hell Georgia peach these days. "Peaches" Seacrest as he was nicknamed by Paula "Touchdown" Abdul, told Fuchsia Garfunkel with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle that he hasn't fe...Read full story
Man Reckons Song Doesn't Go On For Anywhere Near Long Enough
A man listening to a song by French rock band, The Limiñanas, has said that, for his liking, anyway, the track doesn't go on for anywhere near long enough, and could do to be extended by about another three minutes. The song, 'Dimanche', a stompin...Read full story
Nicolas Anelka To Be Sent To Devil's Island
Disgraced France football star Nicolas Anelka is preparing this morning to set sail for French Guiana aboard a prison ship bound for the penal colony of Devil's Island. The island is the place to where Hollywood stars Steve McQueen - wrongly accus...Read full story
French police fine veiled Muslim woman driver
Police in Nantes, in the west of France, today fined a Muslim woman for driving whilst wearing a veil after she was stopped for driving through two sets of red lights and narrowly missing a young child trying to cross the road. A police spokesman...Read full story
Air France - $24,000 Comp. - In Depth Analysis - How Did They Arrive At That Figure?
Paris, France - Air France will offers victims of Air France 447 each $24,000 US. In analyzing how the corporation came to that figure, a company communications representative gave the following breakdown. "When executives went about calculating t...Read full story
John 'I'm so beautiful' Inverdale confirms his attention seeking 'ham fisted' status.
Wimbledon, LONDON: John 'I'm so beautiful' Inverdale was in 'fine' form at this years Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Championships, posing and making insane comments. The BBC send hundreds of staff to 'featherbed' the likes of John 'I'm so beautiful' Inve...Read full story
Cycling Federations to Ban Soda
PARIS, France - Following reports that Italian Cycling great Marco Pantani died as a direct result of a coke overdose, both the United States Cycling Federation and the Amaury Sport Organization have moved to ban all soda beverages from the team tabl...Read full story