France Spoof News

2 July 2020

15 Year-Old French Girl Gets Book Published: Writers Commit Mass Suicide

New York -- Flavia Bujor, a 15 year old girl from Paris, France became a published author this past week, sparking a wave of mass-suicides among writers across the globe.

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Listening Repeatedly To Dominique A, Made Man Speak English With French Accent

An Englishman who listened incessantly to the music of French artist, Dominique A, started to speak English as if he, himself were French - complete with a French accent! Travelling on a Finnair flight back to Manchester in 2012, Moys Kenwood scan...

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Wheelchair-Bound Frogs Sue Leg-Eating French

PARIS, FRANCE--A group of disgruntled, disabled and above all disorientated frogs are suing the population of France, past and present, over their ongoing culinary pursuit of frog's legs.

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"French High-Speed Train Stinks Of Garlic" Say Trainspotters

A new train in France has broken the World Land Speed record previously held by recently-dead BBC Top Gear nutcase, Richard Hamster.

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Tour de France Shocker as Lance Armstrong Flies to Victory

Tour de Farce: Shockwaves have been sent around the cycling world as yesterday's 197.5 kilometre stage, from Castelsarrasin to La Mongie, was taken by storm in rather unconventional circumstances. Five-time Tour de...

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Ooo La La!! Extreme Makeover Ultimate Challenge: France!!

HOLLYWOOD-Blockbuster ABC television's Extreme Makeover producers have exhausted all their likely suspects here in the US, so they've taken their show on the road. Yes, they're going international…across the pond…to the next most...

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Marine Le Pen: "burkini" bans support women's rights

Notre Dame Cathedral More Popular Than Ever Before

American Plans First Vacation to Europe: Wonders if it will be a letdown like Mount Rushmore.

Anti-Immigration Group's Newest Idea: Send the Statue of Liberty Back to France!

France surrenders to Muslim extremists.

France Surrenders to U.S. Girl Scout

Quel Surprise! France announces a complete ban of sexist and homophobic comments.

The real lyrics of the French national anthem released today

To Would or Would Not - Finale

Cantona for President

Lance Armstrong Bitten by Dog with Fake Testicles

Lance Armstrong Comeback Threat 'Roid Rage?

France accuses German, Prussian armies of doping

Hot on the heels of accusations from the French that American bicycling great and seven time Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong was doping, French officials now allege that past colossal military defeats are due to the fact that their enemies were...

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Armstrong Can Have It, Tour Riders Say

-- Pau, FRANCE-- "I quit." It's not something one is used to hearing from professional athletes. For the men and women who dedicate themselves to sport, training day in and day out to be the very best, competition is all there is. The greate...

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US to Return Statue of Liberty to France

The skyrocketing National Debt...due in part, to the prolonged War on Terrorism...is forcing the Administration to take drastic measures to cut costs. Now, as many favorite programs are coming on the chopping block, the US Dept of the Interior ha...

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"Baise-moi! Bandits à neuf heures, Pierre!" Royal Navy pilots get French lessons.

If anybody thought that the French were still smarting from the arse-kicking they received at the Battle of Trafalgar, those suspicions can now be finally laid to rest. Two hundred years on from that stunning defeat at the hands of the British Royal...

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Paris, France Changes Name to Avoid Confusion with the Other Paris

The Paris, France City Council voted today to change the name of the city to eliminate ongoing confusion with celebrity Paris Hilton. As Paris Hilton's fame has skyrocketed, the French capital is often the unintended victim of derision and gossip ai...

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Staten Islanders Ready to Secede

Giovanni O'Malley, owner of O'Malley's, the only Irish Italian tavern on Staten Island, held a press conference on Wednesday to update his followers on the status of negotiations with the US Government for the withdrawal of Staten Island from the uni...

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French Rioters Try To Pull Down Eiffel Tower

The Eiffel Tower, the symbol of Paris, of France, and of Paris, France, has been the object of an ugly incident during the ongoing riotous actions of a few despicable thugs in the capital today. A crowd of about a thousand Yellow Vest protestors a...

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Area Mom's Facebook Response to Nice Attack Notes She Had a Great Meal There Once

MORRISTOWN, NJ--In a Facebook post offering her condolences on the tragic events unfolding in Nice, France, area mother Brianna Simpson pointedly noted that she had a great meal in Nice several years ago. "My heart is broken about what is happenin...

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Trump Insists That the Next G7 Conference Be Held at His Place

Biarritz, France In an announcement that surprised no one, President Donald Trump wants to hold next year's conference at one of his clubs in Florida. "Everyone will be happy. We have waiters that don't bathe to wait on the French, we've got spott...

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Nazi Technology under Consideration for Modern Application

PARIS - In response to the atrocities which unfolded in Paris this weekend, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) have deployed UN sanctioned engineers to Oswiecim, Poland, to conduct analysis on the functional...

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Rocker Sheryl Crow tests Positive for EPO

APP -- Rocker Sheryl Crow, recently admitted to Cedars Cyanide medical center for exhaustion after stalking Lance Armstrong across Normandy, France, and parts of Germany has reportedly tested positive for EPO. Crow denied use of the performance-enh...

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George Foreman Says Ben Franklin Helped Him Become Wealthy

Benjamin Franklin has been credited as being the inventor of the bifocals, the lightning rod, the odometer, the $100 bill, and the Franklin Stove. But hardly anyone knows that the kite-flying chubster also invented the Franklin Grill, which hundreds...

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Eiffel Tower Graffiti Blamed On The Taliban

PARIS - French authorities are investigating one of the worst cases of graffiti they have ever seen. France's national news agency Le News is reporting that the graffiti is definitely the work of the terrorist organization known as The Taliban.

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Unions threaten French-style riots over public sector job cuts

A furious union backlash is expected, in response to the government's announcement that 490,000 public sector jobs will be cut. Union leaders have joined forces in condemning the decision and have compared the cuts to those recently made in France.

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