Osama bin Laden creates a super bug to rule the world

Funny story written by Kid Icarus

Thursday, 27 January 2011

image for Osama bin Laden creates a super bug to rule the world
French Senators pleading with Sarkozy to withdraw troops.

In an audio tape aired on Al Jazeera television on Monday, al Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden admitted to French President Nicolas Sarkozy of spreading pesticide resistant bed bugs in France.

In a message specifically targeting France, al Qaeda chief Osama Bin Laden warned that Paris had to pay a "high price" with itchy bed bugs that spread diseases for its policies against Muslims and that the future of France is not guaranteed if his al Qaeda laboratory develops an airborne AIDS virus that is resistant to all types of drugs. Bin Laden said weather the future of France is secure or not would depend on the pullout of French troops from "Muslim lands."

Bin Laden says that his al Qaeda scientist have moderated the genetic mechanisms of bed bugs to accelerate their genetic mutations to resist all types of chemicals known to man. He claims that he has created a super bug whose power will increase a thousand times over, every time they are sprayed with pesticides.

"We repeat the same message to you: The release from your fate at the hands of our brothers is linked to the withdrawal of your soldiers from our country," bin Laden said. "The refusal of Nicolas Sarkozy to withdraw from Afghanistan is the result of his obedience to his false beliefs that France is free from harm," he added.

In a statement released shortly after the broadcast the French foreign ministry said France was "determined" to keep troops in Afghanistan despite the possible death of 3.2 million French people from a biological attack by al Qaeda.

The last message bin Laden broadcast on al Jazeera was in October, when he said he would kill French citizens in a crime spree through France and attack French interests in retaliation for the country's policies regarding Muslims.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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