French company admits problems with breast implants

Written by Steddyeddy

Thursday, 29 December 2011

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An implant before kiln firing

The French company behind the alleged problems with breast implants has today admitted that there is indeed a problem.

Letitia Brest, a spokesperson, for the manufacturers Nousavonslestittes, went on national television in France to apologise and advise users of their products that, er, well they shouldn't use their products.

Admitting liability, Ms Brest went on to say that the main problem is not with the use of inferior implant silicon, but the fact that they actually used cement instead of silicon.

She said that prior to the recent problems, users reported that they liked the firmer feel offered by the cement product, although it was found to sometimes weight heavily on users' chests.

However, during intimate sessions in the privacy of the bedroom, some men were found to exhibit nosebleeds and facial scarring as a result of contact with their partner's breasts.

The managing director of Nousavonslestittes said that the whole rotten episode was now really getting on his tits.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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