The Latest Rage In California Is Peruvian Marching Dust Smoothies

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 24 June 2022

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The main ingredient in Peruvian Marching Dust Smoothies is of course cocaine.

SAUSALITO, California - (Satire News) - The California Center For The Latest Drugs (CCFTLD), has just made the American citizens aware that the latest drug concoction to come out of secret California drug labs is known as Peruvian Marching Dust Smoothies.

The illegal smootie is named after the home country of the man who invented PMD, Don Carlos Del Centavo, who turned 46 on April Fool's Day.

Delly, as his ex-girlfriend pegged him, discovered the highly potent drug mixture when he was actually trying to find a cure for the common, everyday athlete's foot.

D.C. revealed to Boom Boom News writer Hacienda Fiddle that he simply mixed three grams of cocaine, two teaspoons of Vanila Extract, two ounces of Vodka, one cup of papaya juice, 3 ounces of Heinz Ketchup, and two crushed Viagra Pills and Viola! The Peruvian Marching Dust Smoothie was born.

And the next thing Don Carlos knows, after ingesting some of the mixture, he found himself actually walking 4-inches off the ground.

Del Centavo, pointed out that his Swedish girlfriend Inga, also took some of the mixture, and he told Miss Fiddle that Inga gave him the best blow-job that he had ever had.

SIDENOTE: Peruvian Marching Dust Smooties are available in 41 of the 50 states; especially in Illinois, New Jersey, and South Dakota.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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