Octagoons Win Lawsuit: NCAA To Allow Them To Compete With Men And Women
BILLINGSGATE POST: In the Beginning, there were but two widgets: A(Adam) and E(Eve). With their standardized plumbing functioning smoothly, this configuration was passed down through the evolutionary process for millenniums. Possibly too effective,…
Read full storyPresident Biden Issues A Very Stern Warning To Cuba
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Right now President Biden has a dozen things on his mind starting with the potato shortage in Idaho, the printer ink shortage in South Dakota, the McKetchup packet shortage at all McDonalds, and the 10-legged tarant…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth And Piers Morgan Agree To Film a Commercial For McDonalds
LONDON - (Satire News) - Mickey D's has just revealed that England's Queen Elizabeth and the Brit mouthpiece Piers Morgan, will be appearing in an upcoming commercial for the huge burger franchise. The spokesperson for McDonalds, Irene G. Bittenbe…
Read full storyPrime Minister Boris Johnson Promises To Find Out Who Defaced The Statue of Prince Charles
PECKHAM, England - (Satire News) - Boris Johnson told assembled reporters in the British town of Peckham, that he vows to find out who are the culprit or culprits who viciously, angrily, and son-of-a-bitchly defaced the wonderful statue of Prince Cha…
Read full storyThe Los Angeles Dodgers Buy The Rights To A 7-Foot-4-Inch Pitcher From Mexicali, Mexico
LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - Sportsapalooza is reporting that the L.A. Dodgers have just acquired the rights to one of the tallest pitchers to ever play in college. Reporter Pia Confetti, noted that the player, Agapito Acapulco, who was born i…
Read full storyThe Members of The NRA Vote To Change Their Name To The NAAARA
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - In keeping with what the organization really and truly stands for, the board of directors of the NRA has decided to change the name of their group. The group's treasurer, Kenzo "Moneybags" Wetwater, 32, said that th…
Read full storyElephant in the newsroom suffers ponderous looseness following Sussman verdict
The elephant in the newsroom had been experiencing sighs and hand wringing prior to dramatic developments with his internal organs. Precipitating, according to witnesses, was the report from a news investigator that a juror in the trial had stated…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth, Prince Harry, and Princess Meghan Are Now Back To Being Fine With Each Other
BUCKINGHAM PALACE, England - (Satire News) - All of the popular UK news agencies are excited as her majesty, the queen, has commented that after texing back and forth with Harry and Meghan, the three are all now as happy as a group of 'Fox Hunters" t…
Read full storyTrump Was Standing In Line At A McDonalds When He Claimed That One of The Employees Threw a Boiling McFrench Fry At Him
FLINT, Michigan - (Satire News) - The habitual predatorial racist, better known as Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump reported to two Flint Police Dept. police officers that he was accosted, by an employee, at a local McDonalds (McD-#83984173) at about 4:…
Read full storyRussia Has Lost The Very Last Ounce of Credibility That It Had - And It Will Soon Be Just Another Laos
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The QuinniPinni Polling Agency has just learned that Putin's credibility has totally gone into the world's cesspool. Reports coming out of North Korea's Rice Paddy News Agency are stating that even the roly-poly,…
Read full storyPrince Charles To Get His Gigantic Ears Reduced By 45%
LONDON - (Satire News) - An insider at Buckingham Palace has just revealed that Prince Charles, who is 73, recently entered The Robin Hood Hospital to see about getting a procedure that will reduce his humongously gigantic ears by 45%. The ear, no…
Read full storyLondon Announces That They Will Soon Be Putting Triple-Decker Buses Into Service
LONDON - (Satire News) - The powers-that-be in London have just announced that after months of research, the city will be adding triple-decker buses. Ta Ta For Now News reporter Loretta Piffinshaw, spoke personally with PM Boris Johnson, who told…
Read full storyElizabeth Hurley Named The Top MILF By The University of Alabama Male Student Body
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - (Satire News) - Elizabeth Hurley was recently named "The MILF We Would Like To Be In A Las Vegas Luxury Suite With," by the male student body of the University of Alabama. The poll was taken by the highly reputable info gath…
Read full storyThe Los Angeles Lakers Have Just Signed The Very First Eskimo To Ever Play In The NBA
LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - In a move that has every Los Angeles Lakers fan jumping ecstatically for joy, the Lakers have just signed the very first Eskimo to ever play in the National Basketball League. Team owner Jeanie Buss, said that she p…
Read full storyThe Amazing Settlement Of The Johnny Depp - Amber Heard Circus Lawsuit Case
FAIRFAX COUNTY - (Satire News) - The particulars of the Johnny Depp Vs. Amber Heard Lawsuit Trial have finally been released. According to Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight, the judge in the case, Midlred Y. Bindybuff, 76, ruled that Ms. He…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene's DNA Found On Two Of Donald Trump's Wisdom Teeth
ANDOVER, Maryland - (Satire News) - In a report that is sure to shock Mrs. Donald Trump, iRumors is reporting that an Andover dentist has stated that he actually found some of Cong. Marjorie Taylor Greene's DNA on Donald Jonathan Trump's wisdom teeth…
Read full storyElizabeth Hurley AKA The Sex Goddess Admits That She Had Her Hooha Tightened
BEVERLY HILLS, California - (Satire News) - Elizabeth Hurley who has to be the best looking 56-year-old woman on both sides of the pond (the Atlantic) recently spoke with Bedroom Pillow Talk senior writer Carolina Chipotle. CC asked Lizzy about he…
Read full storyIllinois To Drop The Letter "S" Since It Is Not Pronounced
SPRINGFIELD, Illinois - (Satire News) - The state senate of Illinois has just voted by a vote of 53 to 47 to change the spelling of the state's name. Sen. Clydell M. Papsin, of Peoria first proposed the idea back in 2019. It sat on the senate back…
Read full storyWhy The Hell Are All Of The Wimpy GOP Politicians Scared-As-Shit of The NRA???
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Tapioca Swizzle, a sexy, gorgeous-looking writer for The Vox Populi News Agency asked several Republican senators why they are so fucking afraid of the NRA? One senator Marco Rubio, said that he's not afraid of a…
Read full storyNation Faces Kleenex Shortage After "This Is Us" Series Finale
Our country is facing a blow –– a Kleenex shortage. Not a single box of this essential product can be found on store shelves and countless people are suffering the absence. Researchers have discovered that it is directly correlated to the much antici…
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