LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - Sportsapalooza is reporting that the L.A. Dodgers have just acquired the rights to one of the tallest pitchers to ever play in college.
Reporter Pia Confetti, noted that the player, Agapito Acapulco, who was born in Mexicali's Pancho Villa Hospital, just 21 years ago received a full scholarship to Left Coast College.
During his four years at Left Coast, Acapulco's win-loss record was 83-0, with an astounding ERA of 1.02, and with an amazing 960 strikeouts and only 3 walks.
Acapulco also compiled a .409 batting average and set the US collegiate record for triples with 57.
Miss Confetti remarked that Agapito looks like a young Brad Pitt, except with dark brown hair and a tattoo of a pair of maracas on his left shoulder.
SIDENOTE: Confetti revealed that Agapito also dated three of the five Kardashian sisters while he was at Left Coast.