Senator Kevin McCarthy Addresses The Rumor That Russian President Vladimir Putin Shipped Him 75 Bottles of Vodka at No Charge.

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 3 June 2021

image for Senator Kevin McCarthy Addresses The Rumor That Russian President Vladimir Putin Shipped Him 75 Bottles of Vodka at No Charge.
99.7% of all Democrats and 41.3% of all Republicans agree that Comrade McCarthy will end up in "Hell."

NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) – Senator Kevin McCarthy appeared on "The View," and he was asked to address the rumor that he recently received 75 bottles of vodka from the Kremlin at no cost to him.

McCarthy, told co-host Whoopi Goldberg that, yes, he did receive the Vodka, but was quick to point out that it was only 15 bottles, and he did in fact pay for them.

Goldberg called him Comrade McCarthy and told him to his two-faced face, that he was nothing but a low-life, scum-sucking, sewer-dwelling piece of lying sheep shit.

She then said that he was a sidesaddle-riding pantywaist weasel, as she showed him the FedEx delivery requisition slip that clearly showed the shipment was indeed for 75 bottles of Svetlana Vodka (at no charge), and it also included 105 bottles of Red Comrade Brand Russian Salad Dressing (at no charge), and 82 packages of Frozen Russian Beef Stroganoff (also at no charge).

Joy Behar chimed in and told him that she had recently viewed the infamous Donald J. Trump Pee-Pee Tape and asked him if he had seen it.

McCarthy turned as pink as a Connecticut carnation, giggled like a grade school girl, and admitted that he had in fact seen the disgustingly disgusting infamous video.

“I heard you saw it nine times?” Behar asked.

“Yes, Miss Behar, "I saw the documentary tape nine times” the three-faced Chupacabra-looking senator replied.

"Well hallelujah!" shouted host Sonny Hostin, noting that, that was the first damn truthful thing that the mothereffen SOB had said during the entire show.

In Other News. BuzzFuzz is reporting that Comrade McCarthy's sugar daddy Donaldo Trump, told his lady friend Hope Hicks that he recently shot two holes-in-one during one round of golf.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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