Russian scientists discover formula for shrinking people: Reports say hordes of tiny Russian agents will be in the US soon!

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Thursday, 3 June 2021

image for Russian scientists discover formula for shrinking people: Reports say hordes of tiny Russian agents will be in the US soon!
Tiny agents stand on the trunk of Putin's limo to receive their instructions from their leader

An anonymous source in Russia has reported that after years of trial and error, scientists have discovered a formula that can shrink an average human down to almost microscopic size.

The source also reports that over 10,000 members of the Russian Intelligence Service are now headed for the United States in their miniature form. It is feared that these agents will infiltrate federal, state and local government agencies and bring about chaos and confusion.

What is even worse is that - according to rumors, one or two of the scientists have shared - possibly sold the formula with China. This would create a nightmare scenario in which millions of miniature says would swarm across the US running roughshod over everything we hold dear.

The source could not specify how the formula works or how small subjects will get. Speculation is that the average human becomes approximately the size of a beetle.

There are also rumors of Chinese scientists working on improving the formula, with the possible goal of getting their agents down to a microscopic size invisible to the human eye. There is no telling what damage foreign agents of that size can do.

President Biden has called a press conference for 2 PM this afternoon where he is expected to address the issue. Government sources are cautioning that all Americans should make sure their food and beverages are well secured. They suggest people double-wrap all foods and seal off all beverages to prevent infiltration by the miniature foreign agents.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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