Kentucky Derby Winner “Medina Spirit” and Trainer Bob Baffert Are Both Hit With a Major Racing Suspension

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 3 June 2021

image for Kentucky Derby Winner “Medina Spirit” and Trainer Bob Baffert Are Both Hit With a Major Racing Suspension
Bob Baffert says that both he and "Medina Spirit" are innocent, and he plans on filing at least 8 complaints.

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky – (Sports Satire) – In baseball, it’s three strikes and you’re out – in horse racing it’s two strikes and you’re out.

Vox Populi is reporting that the black-haired horse and the white-haired trainer are being put in the corner for 23 months of time-out time.

Noted trainer Bob Baffert said that when he heard the news he felt as if his solid white hair was going to turn to solid black.

A spokesperson for the Kentucky Derby Racing Fraternity said that “Medina Spirit” has been drug tested more times that Snoop Dogg, Mick Jagger, Willie Nelson, Miley Cyrus, Black Kitty Meow Meow, and Kanye West put together.

The latest drug test came out positive for Horvaliffativa, Mistohooffalosis, Scronch P-18, and Sodium Bizzantoxabromafeen.

When Baffert was made known of the suspension, he threw his hands up in the air and yelled out, “Damnit all, I blame those friggin’ space alien zombie demon creatures from Uranus.”

The White-Haired one, was asked what he was going to do now. He shook his head, and said that he's 107% innocent and added that he’ll just go on unemployment, get food stamps, and watch ladies mudwrestling on the Bravisimo Network.

In Other News. Vice-President Kamala Harris told Ellen DeGeneres that she had no idea that being vice-president could be so much fun.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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