WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The woman who most Americans consider to be uglier than a baboons butt, recently confided to Anderson Cooper, that ever since Valentine’s Day, she has had one huge, effen crush on the guy whose expression looks as if he is staring into the rectum of an adult female giraffe, Tucker Carlson.
Cooper told Taylor Greene that Tucky boy is married. Mar-Mar, as Ann Coulter and rapper Black Kitty Meow Meow, call her, said that she doesn’t want to break up his marriage, she just wants to take a couple or five rolls in the hay to see if he, in fact, is as good in bed as Judge Jeanine Pirro alleges he is.
A.C., who is gay, stared at MTG for a few seconds, rolled his eyes, and then asked her if she owns a comb, if she has a mirror, and if she realizes that her horrific hairdo makes her look like the freakin’ scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz.
Marjorie got her granny panties in a wad, and shot back at him by saying, “Well you ain’t no Bradley Cooper sissy guy."
And with that Anderson told her that the man who marries her ugly, old, bitch ass had better have the strongest cast iron-like stomach in the history of strong stomachs.