Piss-Artist Aussies go on warpath as breweries announce, "Alcohol Kills!"

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 17 June 2021

image for Piss-Artist Aussies go on warpath as breweries announce, "Alcohol Kills!"
German Breweries do a mega-beer-deal with Australia beating BOJO by a mile, no cat-piss-Pommy-beer in sight

Smoking Kills, no doubt, but then again smokers know this fact before puffing away at their favourite drug. Even images of decaying teeth, black lungs cannot stop smokers smoking!

The alcohol Australian producing fraternity has also decided to put warning images on their beloved cans of beer, and decided to go, Alcohol Free, in the future because alcohol kills too, especially after binge drinking, and driving in downtown Sydney!

Aussie alcoholics, male, and female are now protesting vehemently to brewers about revolting images on their cans of beer claiming it makes them vomit even before they start downing the stuff!

Rows of homeless alcoholics have built tent cities in front of breweries claiming; "We need BOOZE, and not cats piss alcoholic free castrated beer!"

Due to protests, Aussie brewers are now contemplating reverting to an ancient tradition introduced to Australia by British prisoners whose only way of surviving bugs bites, poisonous spiders, swarms of flies, mosquitoes, etc, was to get pissed every day with prison-made slosh! They have also removed revolting images of beer-bellied Aussies burping and slandering Brits by calling them Pommy Pussies!

Their latest marketing slogan is:

"Alcoholic Free beverages are for vegans, woozies, and softies! Aussie traditions of being a nation full of proud, beer slurping Piss-Artists, must be upheld!"

Alcoholics camping outside of breweries are now being give freebie six-packs and politely being asked to remove their tents. They agreed, and are moving back to local park benches determined to uphold a true Aussie culture!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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