Wyoming’s Wildfires Are Stressing The Hell Out Of The Buffalo Herds

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 17 June 2021

image for Wyoming’s Wildfires Are Stressing The Hell Out Of The Buffalo Herds
A volunteer firefighter from Delaware fighting "The Tongue of Freaking Satan Fire."

TARANTULA TITS, Wyoming – (Satire News) – The Wyoming Department of Forestry & Animal Issues, is extremely concerned over the states 4 wildfires that are raging out-of-control.

The main fire known as The Tongue of Freaking Satan Fire, was reportedly started when a wayward coyote got struck by lightning while chasing down a zebra.

That rumor however is being looked into, because of the fact that no resident of Wyoming has ever reported seeing a zebra.

One old-timer, Orton P. Pickstix, 91, did remark that he has seen wild albino horses covered in black mud that could very easily be mistaken for zebras; especially if one has 6 or 12 Bud Lights in his belly.

Meanwhile the state’s more than 6 million buffaloes or bison, as they are called in Alabama, are being stressed out to the max by these horrendously fast-moving fires.

One noted Wyoming animal psychiatrist stated that next to mountain lions, buffaloes hate stress beyond belief, so she noted that many of the stressed out buffaloes may just say 'eff it' and hoof it on up to Montana.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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