Tommy Robinson Arrested For Wearing Skimpy Swimming Trunks
Former English Defence League (EDL) leader, Tommy Robinson, was in trouble with the law again this week, after a visit to the local swimming pool ended early, when other patrons complained that his swimming trunks were "too skimpy". Robinson, whos…
Read full storyMystery Space X Implosion Baffles Space Force
Top brass officials from the newly-formed U.S. Air Command's "Space Force" were at a loss, yesterday, to explain the recent "explosive anomaly" with the latest rocket launch from Space X. Reporters questioning the group of officials, who organize…
Read full storyGood-bye Mr. Trump
At last, thanks to former Vice President Joseph Biden, the Trump presidency is headed for the dumpster truck of history. No more juvenile, self-serving tweets that only a ten-year-old would be proud to glue into his scrapbook. There will not be a...
Read full storyMy Favorite Movie (an excerpt from Trump's Unauthorized Autobiography in His Own Best Words) (Now available on Amazon)
My Favorite Movie And when you tell me that, you know, he should testify because he’s going to tell the truth and he shouldn’t worry, well that’s so silly because it’s somebody’s version of the truth. Not the truth ... No, it isn’t truth. Truth isn...
Read full storyBlue-Collar Nashville Man Identifies More with Lazy Class
Despite being a dues-paying union carpenter for over a decade, Rex Miller of Nashville, Tennessee, says that he has never really identified with the term “working class.” “I prefer to do the bare minimum,” Miller explained. “Even though I have a b...
Read full storyWashington State officials urge citizens not to lick things
Washington State officials have pleaded with citizens not to lick ballots. Mail-in ballots for the mammary election are normally sealed into envelopes by licking. To avoid spreading disease, officials requested other means be used. We poll...
Read full storyPresident Trump Says He Wants Ex-NASCAR Driver Danica Patrick To Be His Personal Driver
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House insider has hinted that POTUS is not very happy with his present presidential chauffeur. Apparently, Trump caught his driver listening to CNN as he was driving Melania to the supermarket. Melania reportedly inform...
Read full storyAn Amazing Kentucky Racehorse Named Witch Hunt Has Won 10 of His First 10 Races
SONORA, Kentucky – The thoroughbred horse racing industry is amazed at a 2-year-old stallion that literally runs like the wind, as they say up in Chicago. The horse, named Witch Hunt, has entered ten races and has won each one. And won by an avera...
Read full storyDonald Trump Says He Has Definitive Proof That Bernie Sanders Was Born In Kenya
WASHINGTON – El Presidente, as President Donald Trump is referred to in Spanish Harlem, has just discovered something that he says will cause Bernie Sanders to drop out of the Democratic Presidential Primary Race. POTUS smiled from ear-to-ear as h...
Read full storyAustralians To Stop Wiping Their Bottoms
As worries over shortages of certain essential household items, continued unabated all across Australia last night, and consumers flocked to supermarkets to buy anything they could lay their hands on, Australian Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, spoke...
Read full storyManchester United: Harry Maguire Reveals His First Job Was Making Sausages
We all have secrets in our past that we may be either ashamed or embarrassed about, but Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, has no such concerns about his past, and yesterday revealed that, after leaving school, he had a pa...
Read full storyTottenham's Eric Dier Does An 'Eric Cantona'
There was controversy at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium last night, when Spurs' England midfielder, Eric Dier, jumped into the crowd to confront some lippy bigmouth that had been directing insults at him and his younger brother in the stands, remindi...
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