Blue-Collar Nashville Man Identifies More with Lazy Class

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 5 March 2020

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Like many identifying as lazy class, Rex Miller is compelled by societal conditions to act like working class.

Despite being a dues-paying union carpenter for over a decade, Rex Miller of Nashville, Tennessee, says that he has never really identified with the term “working class.”

“I prefer to do the bare minimum,” Miller explained. “Even though I have a blue-collar job, I identify most strongly with the lazy class.”

Miller went on to note that he hopes that candidates in the upcoming presidential election will begin speaking more directly to the many voters like him, who, by their own admission, seek to live comfortably while expending as little effort as possible.

“There are lots of people like me who are forced to act like working class, but who would strongly prefer to be lazy,’ he said. “We need more policies supporting us regular lackadaisical Americans."

According to Miller, strong labor laws, including shorter work hours, lenient sick-pay guidelines, and increased remote-access carpentry options, are some of the policy considerations that will likely inform his pick for president. "If I make it out to vote, that is," he said. "I may end up deciding to just take it easy that day.”

Regardless, however, Miller warned presidential hopefuls that the lazy class, while not especially motivated or organized, is one that politicians ignore at their own risk. "“We may not make a pretty talking point, but we’re who America really is," he said. "Win us over, and you're in. I can promise you that."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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