Mayor Of New York City Manages To Cut The Crime Rate In Half
New York City’s most popular mayor of all time has made an announcement that he has come up with a plan to cut the city’s crime rate in half. Addressing the press on the steps of the state house, mayor Bill de Blasio said the following: “Okay, ev…
Read full storyMan Has Decided To Get Fit
In keeping with medical advice that everyone should take regular exercise, and taking advantage of the opportunity that the Coronavirus lockdown has provided him with, one man in his 'twilight years' has decided to 'get with the program', and to star…
Read full storyBlacks Criticized For Dressing In Whiteface
The Black Lives Matter organization has come under heavy criticism this afternoon, after several of its members were seen in broad daylight dressing up as White people. The scene was Washington, DC, at an event organized in support of the election…
Read full storyWhat Do Donald Trump And Donald Duck Have In Common?
What do Donald Trump and Donald Duck have in common besides their first name? For starters, neither speaks English. It's more of a gibberish; lots of noise and no substance. The sound is usually a complaint about something. And there is a lot of self…
Read full storyMan forgot he was going bald
After his first trip to the hairdresser in four months, Stan Bridgewater was cruelly reminded of the fact that he is going bald. The formerly hirsute office junior, 47, brushed his hair once, and left it at that, knowing that it would continue to…
Read full story‘The Grapes of Wrath’ is not about wine production as a form of anger management
As book shops reopen, Waterstones have been dealing with a string of complaints regarding fraudulent book titles. Avid angry reader, Brenda O’Lox, alleges that ‘Catch 22’ contains nothing about fishing. ‘It is just utter madness!’ She was also ve…
Read full storyMan wore trousers half-way down his arse
It was a quiet Tuesday afternoon in a tea room in Chaffinch St Cock, when a disheveled man entered with his garments loose and improper. His trousers only came up to the bottom part of his buttock cheeks, and his patterned blue and red underpants wer…
Read full storyKanye West Says He’s Running For President and Lots of Black Celebrities Say He’s As Dumb as a Ketchup Bottle
CALABASAS, California – Kanye West, the man who is known for being Kim Kardashian’s lesser half has informed the media that he is serious about running for president. The black entertainer said that he decided to jump on the anti-Trump bandwagon a…
Read full storyOceanic Scientists Say That It’s Time We Changed the Name of The Sperm Whales
MIAMI – Some of the nation’s leading oceanic scientists have commented that it is time we changed the name of sperm whales. The whales were first discovered by Portuguese explorer, Valdivino Bernardo Sperm in late November of 1617. V.B. actuall…
Read full storyThe NBA Has Just Picked Up a Very Appropriate Sponsor
DETROIT – The NBA has just informed the sports media that it has just picked up a brand new sponsor for the 2020 season. NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, said that the NBA is excited to welcome its newest corporate sponsor, Black Lives Matter. Si…
Read full storyJ.J. Witt of The Houston Texans Says He Will Refuse to Wear The New C-19 NFL Face Shield Helmet
HOUSTON – One of the greatest players to ever put on the Texans uniform has balked at wearing the new mandated C-19 Protective Helmet Face Shield. J.J. Witt, who owns several Witt’s End Beer Bars, said that he hates the new helmets, because he is…
Read full storyThe Lincoln Project – Our Goal is Getting President Bone Spurs the Heck out of the White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The biggest thorn in Trump’s side is not the ghost of Stormy Daniels, or little Claudia Conway, or even Don Lemon. The biggest, most boisterous, anti-Trump organization in the entire country is The Lincoln Project, who many say…
Read full storyThe New York Yankees Announce That They Will Not Be Changing Their Name
NEW YORK CITY – A spokesman for the New York Yankees has stated that they have listened to the complaints of their southern fans, but the name will remain as it has been for 107 years, since 1913. A group of southern Yankees fans submitted a petit…
Read full storyMona Lisa Is Pouty As Louvre Opens Back Up
Paris, France - According to a super French art historian, Guy Ohlalâ, the Mona Lisa is not happy about the Louvre Museum opening back up after being closed for 4 months due to some weird bat burger illness. Monsieur Ohlalâ claims that he has a ve…
Read full storyMan Became Frightened After Reading Bitcoin Advert
A man whose acquaintances often joke about him being a bit of a "dinosaur", has told them of a recent incident when he read an advert on the internet that he didn't understand, and was left in a state of fright. The advert, which can be seen above…
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