As book shops reopen, Waterstones have been dealing with a string of complaints regarding fraudulent book titles.
Avid angry reader, Brenda O’Lox, alleges that ‘Catch 22’ contains nothing about fishing. ‘It is just utter madness!’ She was also very distraught when informed that ‘Brideshead Revisited’ wasn’t a sequel.
‘So I then chose something that would cheer me up,’ said Brenda, ‘but with this utterly miserable book, ‘The Divine Comedy’, I didn’t laugh once.’
Shop manager, Mr Harverson, said: ‘She even returned one book claiming that some pages had been removed, as there was no reference to the 15th or 23rd March in ‘Middlemarch’. And, due to a lack of details regarding pay, holiday entitlement or training, she haughtily returned ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy’ with “Career guidance my arse!”’
‘My worst disappointment,’ said Brenda, ‘was that stupidly titled ‘Lord of the Rings’ - worst history of H. Samuels I have ever read. They only mention one ring, claim it to be precious, then throw it away!’
Thankfully, Ms O’Lox did leave the shop feeling happy, as she found a book about her favourite subject, men’s fashion, particularly the development of the zip fastener. ‘But I suspect she’ll be back,’ said Mr Harverson resignedly, ‘after reading ‘Lord of the Flies’.’