Climate Change Protest Angers Snowflakes
Climate-change deniers and other unscientific hosiery measurements have objected to recent protests which attempted to raise awareness of the effects of the Earth being baked. "Blah! Blah! Blah!" said climate-change denier Geoff Cole, fingers in e...
Read full storyMost of Mark Ronson's partners admit to being sapio-averse
On a recent episode of Good Morning Britain, music producer Mark Ronson came out of the closet as a sapiosexual. A stunned public applauded the hitmaker for his bravery, and for bringing awareness to a sexual identity relatively unknown to most. Ap...
Read full storyMr. Bojangles Trudeau
BILLINGSGATE POST: “I knew a man, Bojangles and he danced for you in worn out shoes.....” Justin Bojangles Trudeau - Has a nice ring to it, huh? Think he ever knew how comforting worn out shoes felt? He wore velvet slippers instead. “Silv...
Read full storyTrump Seen Pulling 20s Out of One Pocket and 100s Out of the Other to Give to World Leaders
Mor-A-Lago, FL In breaking news, photographs of President Donald Trump have emerged, showing him giving $100 and $20 notes to world leaders, including, coincidentally enough, those with Trump resorts in their countries, such as Ireland, Scotland, and...
Read full storyRaw Food Vegan Admits to Having a Cold
"I feel like such a failure," said a hoarse Jeff Hayes of Cambridge, Massachusetts, a raw food vegan who finally came clean that he had come down with a cold. "I've let down the entire raw community. Not to mention broccoli sprouts." When it was...
Read full storyHarry Maguire To Be Britain's Next Prime Minister?
When Boris Johnson lied to the Queen about the prorogation of Parliament last week, and was then 'found out', it was the death knell for the egotistical, shock-headed prime minister who, if he'll lie to Her Majesty, cannot surely be trusted to tell...
Read full storyReady To Rumble
The UK's Brexit negotiator is in the EU for talks today, and has said “progress has been made”. Which will be music to the ears of many Brits who are living with the looming shadow of Brexit uncertainty blocking out their personal sun. A gover...
Read full storyConfidential White House Source Says Area 51 Is Trump's Sooper-Dooper Maxi, Top Secret, Ultra-Cool, Big, Giant Blanket Fort
Area 51, Nevada - A really cool and mysterious secret source from the White House sent a super sensitive coded message to the press today, stating that Area 51 is actually President Trump's Sooper-Dooper Maxi, Top Secret, Big, Giant Blanket Fort, and...
Read full storyJustin Trudeau Says He Feels "More Comfortable In Brownface"
Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, has given a frank and in-depth interview about the photographs of himself in 2001, when he dressed up as Aladdin, and donned brownface. In the interview, he claims that, rather than having browned his face...
Read full storyMan Delayed Going To Work Hoping For Some Catastrophic Natural Disaster
A man who hates going to work has told how he delayed going in this morning in the hope that some natural catastrophe such as an earthquake, hurricane, typhoon, monsoon, Biblical flood, volcanic eruption, or fireball from space might save him the bot...
Read full storyMelania Trump Not Seen Since Humberto Passed By
Sources close to the White House and the First Lady, Melania Trump, say she is missing. In fact, she has not been seen at the President's side since Humberto the hurricane headed out to sea. "She has an old boyfriend named Humberto. I think she wa...
Read full storyJustin Trudeau Fly Face Scandal Rocks Canada
BILLINGSGATE POST: Fly Face minstrelsy is an indigenous Canadian theatrical form intended as comic entertainment. Developed in the early 20th century, each show consisted of comic skits, dancing and musical performances that depicted people specific...
Read full storyRoscoe's "Wilderness Survival Tips I Learned the Hard Way"
I've always loved camping. I have camped hundreds of times in hundreds of different places. The mountains, the desert, ocean beaches, the woods behind my ex-girlfriend's house - I have camped everywhere. And, in the course of my adventures, I have le...
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