Climate Change Protest Angers Snowflakes

Friday, 20 September 2019

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Sea levels are rising like an old man on Viagra

Climate-change deniers and other unscientific hosiery measurements have objected to recent protests which attempted to raise awareness of the effects of the Earth being baked.

"Blah! Blah! Blah!" said climate-change denier Geoff Cole, fingers in ears. "It's not happening. I don't believe it."

Conservative PM Godfrey Wetherby agreed that climate change was a hoax. "What would climate scientists know about climate?" he barked. "I remember 1977, it was so warm, that I didn't even wear long johns. And so what if Fiji sinks? All those sexy chubby Fiji ladies will be coming my way."

Protesters were adamant that they had a serious point. "It's going to get very fucking hot," said protester Geoff Warming. "I think about all those jumpers I've bought that I don't need any more, and it makes me cry."

Right wing organisation We're Always Right claimed that scientists could not be trusted. "We believe in facts not feelings, and scientists are the last people you would go to for facts. It's not like they spend all day logically studying a subject."

Climate change protesters will have another protest next week, when they will attempt a rain dance, and an ice age shuffle.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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