Sources close to the White House and the First Lady, Melania Trump, say she is missing. In fact, she has not been seen at the President's side since Humberto the hurricane headed out to sea.
"She has an old boyfriend named Humberto. I think she was confused when she was told he was coming. We saw her with her small travel case," said a WH staffer, on condition of anonymity.
"Or maybe she was just taking advantage of all the talk of Humberto to communicate with her old flame," continued the staffer. "She's quite clever that way.
"Back when he tweeted about the nonsense word convefe , she said she was going out to buy some, and didn't come back for a month."