Funny story: Man Opened Tin Of Beans Using Hammer And Chisel

Man Opened Tin Of Beans Using Hammer And Chisel

Tins can sometimes be difficult to open, and people often use various odd things to open them that aren't specifically designed for that purpose. And so it was with one man at the weekend when he tried, and failed, several times, to open a tin of...

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Funny story: Man buying wardrobe on Ebay shocked to find it leads to Narnia

Man buying wardrobe on Ebay shocked to find it leads to Narnia

Lee Bridgewater, a local plumber in Chutney on the Fritz has revealed that the wardrobe that he bought on eBay a couple of weeks ago leads to Narnia. He explained: 'I bought the wardrobe for my wife Tracy, as she likes olde-worlde things. I would...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Diagnosed With Terminal Katsaridaphobia: Future Uncertain

Harry Maguire Diagnosed With Terminal Katsaridaphobia: Future Uncertain

BILLINGSGATE POST: Harry Maguire has never vowed to play again at Old Trafford until the cockroaches infesting the locker rooms have been equipped with safety helmets. As reported yesterday by crack reporter Monkey Woods, the Manchester United defen...

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Funny story: Adam Schiff caught taking "matters" into his own hands

Adam Schiff caught taking "matters" into his own hands

Washington, DC - Last Thursday at the House Intelligence Committee hearing for acting DNI Joseph Maguire, Adam Schiff opened the session with a contrived, slanderous, and defamatory interpretation of the actual phone call between President Trump and...

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Funny story: A run-down house passed over for Homes Under the Hammer

A run-down house passed over for Homes Under the Hammer

Stan Bridgewater, a run-down semi-detached in Rotherham is sad that for the fourth time in a row he has been turned down for a starring role in Homes Under The Hammer. Wanting to appear on the show with Dion Dublin, and the other chap with unruly...

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Funny story: Deep State Cockroaches Come Out Of The Wall

Deep State Cockroaches Come Out Of The Wall

BILLINGSGATE POST: Squishing cockroaches is not a job for a gentleman as refined and exquisitely educated as Dr. Billingsgate. But someone has to step on the bastards, before another generation of the despised insects inbreed with each other and t...

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Funny story: Donald Trump's Index finger suing due to over-work

Donald Trump's Index finger suing due to over-work

Donald Trump's right hand index finger is to sue the small-handed, stone-cold loser Donald Trump for over-use. The angry digit, speaking in a far more statesmanlike way than its owner, said: 'Every time he wants to make another one of his moronic,...

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Funny story: Unshaven Nectarine Fears Being Impeached

Unshaven Nectarine Fears Being Impeached

A self-described low-hanging fruit who prefers the natural look, a nectarine named Nick allowed a bit of fuzz to appear on his normally smooth skin, and says that he now fears being impeached. "Nothing against peaches, of course, but that would ju...

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Funny story: Obesity Linked To Diet Choices

Obesity Linked To Diet Choices

A study into the causes of obesity has concluded that the condition is almost certainly linked to whatever sufferers have stuffed down their gullets. The five-minute study undertaken by four men in a west Hull pub found that excessive bingeing on...

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Funny story: Melania Trump Revealed to Be the Actual Whistleblower

Melania Trump Revealed to Be the Actual Whistleblower

Mar-A-Lago, FL In a breaking story, it is revealed that First Lady, Melania Trump, was the person who leaked about improprieties in her husband Donald Trump's phone calls to the President of the Ukraine. She mentioned the extortion threats made by h...

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Funny story: House Of Commons Gunpowder Stash Discovered

House Of Commons Gunpowder Stash Discovered

Police in Westminster have, this morning evacuated the House of Commons and the area around it, after a suspicious amount of gunpowder was discovered in a basement room of the building. The explosive material was packed into 36 beer barrels. Th...

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